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Share a joke with us!

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Comments

  • amsofly
    amsofly Community member Posts: 29 Courageous
    Where does the sheep get his hair cut?

    The baa baa shop!  

  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
    • If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don't open it, it's spam.

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
    Want to hear a joke about paper?

    never mind, it’s tearable.

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Community member Posts: 2,586 Disability Gamechanger
    Quick physics challenge for you - create a vacuum in less than 60 seconds...  No pressure!  ;)
  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Community member Posts: 2,586 Disability Gamechanger
    I've got a book coming out soon!

    Probably shouldn't have eaten it tbh...  :p
  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
    My wife accused me of being immature,
    so I told her to get out of my fort.

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
    How does a computer learn new things? 

    Bit by Bit
    Online Community Coordinator

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  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
    Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease? It makes cows go completely insane!". The other cow replies "Good thing I'm a helicopter".

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Community member Posts: 2,586 Disability Gamechanger
    edited August 2020
    I had a job interview last week. 

    Interviewer asked if I could perform under pressure...  I said "no, but I can do a cracking Bohemian Rhapsody!"
  • Geoark
    Geoark Community member Posts: 1,463 Disability Gamechanger
    If you have to wear a mask and glasses, you could be due for condensation,

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
    I was seriously thinking about getting a job cleaning mirrors, why?
    It’s just something I could see myself doing..

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

  • male45
    male45 Community member Posts: 336 Pioneering
    I saw a lot of pigeons huddled together.
    I think they're planning a Coo
    Best Wishes 
  • male45
    male45 Community member Posts: 336 Pioneering
    I just got back from a friends funeral. He was hit on the head by a tennis ball.
    It was a lovely service.

    Best Wishes 
  • male45
    male45 Community member Posts: 336 Pioneering
    I just had a meal of calf liver, kidney and heart. 
    It was offaly good!
    Best Wishes 
  • male45
    male45 Community member Posts: 336 Pioneering
    At hospital over the weekend I heard a load of patients reciting Scottish poetry, apparently it was the serious Burns unit
    Best Wishes 
  • male45
    male45 Community member Posts: 336 Pioneering
    When my Grandad was 65 he started running a mile a day to keep fit. He's 70 now and we have no idea where he is .
    Best Wishes 
  • male45
    male45 Community member Posts: 336 Pioneering
    A Glaswegian lad, takes his girlfriend home for the first time and introduces her to his folks "this is Amanda", his dad jumps up and says "IT'S A WHAT".???
    Best Wishes 
  • male45
    male45 Community member Posts: 336 Pioneering
    How does a Geordie carpenter make sure his doors are level?

    By eye man.
    Best Wishes 
  • male45
    male45 Community member Posts: 336 Pioneering
    it's the way I tell.em lol
    Best Wishes 
  • leeCal
    leeCal Community member Posts: 7,550 Disability Gamechanger
    I just watched a program about beavers,
    It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen

    “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” 
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

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