Partners

Strawberry1

Hi @Agulu , it's OK reply when you can . So very sorry to hear you not doing good. Sorry to hear you have fallen. I'm so very very sorry to hear how things are . Sounds horrendous. Are you in hospital? Are you being looked after? . I don't like to think of you having all this to deal with . I really hope you can get some help. Sending gentle hugs . I hope you haven't broken anything. Sending kind blessings your way . I wish you get all the help you require 🙏.

Agulu

thank you for your support, a little better but I didn't want to go to the hospital, but I fell to the floor again. Tomorrow it must be ok

Strawberry1

@Agulu , you are so very welcome. I'm so sorry to hear you have fallen again. I hope you are not in any pain. I hope you can get some help. I wish for better days ahead for you. Let me know how things go . I hope you can get some rest tonight. Sending gentle hugs.

Strawberry1

Why will my other half not allow me to discuss important topics in this so called relationship of ours . Automatically I get shut down. It doesn't seem fair.

Strawberry1

Womens aid had to cancel my appointment this week due to staff illness.

Rosie_Scope

Sorry to hear about your appointment @Strawberry1, I hope Women's Aid can fit you in another time. Did they say when your next appointment will be?

Strawberry1

It's OK @Rosie_Scope . No unfortunately they didn't say when my next appointment would be . I'm considering ringing the doctors. Thank you so much for your kindness and support. Please take care of yourself.

Rosie_Scope

That's a shame @Strawberry1, hopefully it wont be long until they can fit you in again. Fingers crossed you get what you need from the doctors if you do decide to ring 😊

Strawberry1

I do need to speak with someone @Rosie_Scope . I just want to be on my own when I make a call . Feeling really sad today. Had to hold back tears whilst out this morning. Thank you so much 💓. Take care.

newborn

Sounds as if both partners are downhearted. As others have said, your online shopping idea is a good one, to be a normal routine anyway. So would any other way to be independent as far as possible.

Would you mind if I point out one very practical thing? You can look it all up with extremely reputable sources such as Radio 4, Michael Mosely and others:

They stress that there is a huge industry in selling people junk food, BUT…. in order to cover up the harm the industry does, they have made up a myth which everyone believes (Just like, at one time, the tobacco industry was advertising cigarettes 'good for clearing lungs and sore throats') The myth the junk food industry sells is that losing weight is all to do with exercise.

Wrong: Exercise has almost nothing to do with weight. Food has.

The BBC investigators and others have proved that yes, by all means, exercise every day in whatever way you can (including chair based). Exercise is good for all of us, in many ways. But Do Not Think It Will Change Your Weight:

The only thing to do that, is to change what goes into your digestive system.

(Admittedly there are also the weight loss drugs, and abdominal surgery, but both have side effects and risks, and long waiting lists and drug shortages. First, any GP would expect a person to have gone on their own food and drink re-think, and next, to have tried the NHS approved milkshake- only diet, which people say is hard, but it works. People need to learn how damaging the standard UK diet is, and discover healthy eating habits)

After losing weight, people feel much better about themselves. And much more in control of their lives, which is what we disabled really need. Partners have a happier, healthier and more slender partner, and it can only help them to perk up, too.

As to the partner getting jealous that his own children don't seem as close to him as yours are to you,; that was so kind of you to notice. Is there a way you can avoid 'rubbing his nose in it', for example not talking about them much in front of him, and trying to meet them when he is not there, if possible, or away from the house? Not keeping it secret of course, just not flaunting it in his face, (as it might seem to him)? You sound very sensitive and considerate of him, and the two of you cared enough to move in together and stay together all this time. You have a sad man, not a bad man. He's a keeper!

By the way, would one of your children care to let him show them how to fish, if you cannot physically get anywhere there is fishing? (Mind, there must be somewhere accessible, what about a seaside pier where people could go with a wheelchair?)

Strawberry1

@Rosie_Scope , I did phone the doctors but I was too upset to speak. They are going to put something on my medical records at least . I will try again next week. I called Samaritans and talked too them . I hope it was to tell you.

Rosie_Scope

Well done for reaching out @Strawberry1, it takes a lot of strength to do that when you're having a hard time. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you, take it really easy ❤️

Strawberry1

Thank you so much @Rosie_Scope . Take care of yourself too.

Strawberry1

I am so very sorry to everyone 😢. I hope I haven't done anything wrong 🙏. I don't have anyone to talk too . I did call Samaritans today because I had no one else to talk too .

Bluebell21

Hi @Strawberry1 Did it help you talking to the Samaritans? you can talk to them anytime. You have not done anything wrong. I am sorry Women's aid cancelled your appointment due to staff sickness. Could you contact them again next week to ask for another appointment. Take care.

Strawberry1

Hi , @Bluebell21 , yes it did help talking to Samaritans definitely . People here yourself included are so kind and thoughtful 💕. The lady who cancelled the appointment said she would contact as soon as she could. She's off sick at the moment. I'm hoping I can pluck up courage again to speak with the doctors. Thank you so much 💓.

Strawberry1

I've looked online and it says people with ADHD, can have relationship problems. That has answered my worry . It is all my fault.

Albus_Scope

Hey @Strawberry1 just because you have ADHD, that doesn't automatically mean the problem is you. There's two people in a relationship and it's all about understanding and give and take. Please don't think it's all down to you.

WhatThe

I agree it cannot ever be one person's fault!

You've only just had your ADHD assessment and I'm sure that's triggered all kinds of insecurity and painful memories. When you feel that raw, any aggression from a partner would be unbearable. By contacting Women's Aid, you are acknowledging that his behaviour is unreasonable and you are valuing yourself.

(please ignore the above opinion about your partner's jealousy - it's not "kind" to notice it. We are amazing creatures and it's completely normal for men to feel left out because of the unique bond we have with our children and our ability to care for others. Tough, I say! It's outrageous to suggest you change when and where you see your children to make him feel better and it probably wouldn't change his bad moods anyway)

Strawberry1

Hello @Albus_Scope and @WhatThe , I should have answered these messages alot earlier than this . I always appreciate your support and time it means a great deal to me . @WhatThe , you write with a great deal of intellect . The way you present your posts is very well written . Both of you have provided very valid points which I'm very interested in reading. At this present moment I'm not sure if I do actually know what's right and what's wrong anymore in general ( nothing to do with any of your posts ) I keep questioning myself over and over if I'm just utterly stupid . Thank you so much @WhatThe and @Albus_Scope .