How is your day going?
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Warm here too, pity about thunderstorm.
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It's not as hot today 25 degrees
Yes last night the bedroom temp was 27 degrees. No duvet on
Was 17 outside all night
I get very lonely I have no transport and with my anxiety and ptsd and other health issues I tend not to go out until emergency
Plus I've no money
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Bills I can't pay
Nobody ever visits me
Still no cardiology appointment
My pulse rate won't go down
I worry about everything
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I feel like life's pass me by. I'm. Getting older
This isn't how I waht to live
Akways wanted to travel the world
Have this dream I win the lottery and I buy a farm in UK and a holiday homes in spain USA and carribean
I waht to. Visit all of the carribean islands with my camera
Be amazing
Alas on benefits in a dropping to bits house with debts and I'll. Health
It will never happen
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evening….. soon time to bed.. yesterday i had a terrible night… it is happening a lot lately.. medication not working. i am tired so i hope i am able to sleep. i probably watch the one film or maybe two and then bedtime. and tomorrow i am busy in the afternoon. i dread Fridays as it is very busy by the time i get back home.. So i hope it is quiet. but i much prefer to keep busy and not stay at home getting depressed at the same time it is rather hard to deal with people etc.. yes a lottery will help. As i am getting older i do not feel any more in the urge to travel. i find it as too much hassle to deal with medication etc… and insurance etc. but mainly all the issues with medication.. legal in some countries and illegal on others… medication in uk is legal but some of that legal medication here is illegal in some countries and it is a very serious offence . so i would love to be off medication but that seems like a dream as i am not sure on how i will function without it. have a nice evening….
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Amberpearl…hey how’s it going? Just got to bed myself. Really fatigued and staggering all over the place but at least I didn’t fall over! I like your dreams and hang onto them. One day everything will change for the better. Everyone gets older so don’t worry. Keep plugging away and don’t lose hope.Contact anyone you know and chat to them to discuss your issues. Something will turn up….it always does .
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Another tough night. I can't sleep. This is getting very frustrating. I can't breath. My head can't stop worrying. I just do not know how to stop it.
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@Amberpearl sorry to see you write that… I think you're justified feeling like that to be honest… it's a little annoying when people try to change the way we think when there's a good reason for it… but we all have to make the best and you're an interesting person, I love reading your posts. Do you still have lots of cats?
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@Grumpy1314 I love how you were feeling so horrible about yourself then trying to reassure someone else… I don't think lots of people who don't have loads of problems would be like that 😊
My support worker once told me, when I say something negative about myself, ask myself if I'd say that to a friend? Or the other way… if it was a friend struggling in the position I'm in, how would I advise/reassure them?? You probably wouldn't be so harsh to tell them to pack it all up like you would to yourself 👍
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@Grumpy1314 it's kinda interesting (not in a perverted way) to hear that, like I used to think I was hard done by having many of my issues all my life but in a way it must be harder to acquire them. My mum used to say (as a throwaway comment, no experience) it's easier for people born blind than those who lose their sight, maybe it's similar with most disabilities?
In a way I don't think we ever should fully make peace but I guess it's a case of where to invest your time/energy, find a way of living with stuff, I guess putting energy into adapting rather than mourning what we lost? I know that's MUCH easier said than done, I don't manage it lots of the time 😆
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good morning everyone I'm sick of not being well this has been the whole holiday I have had the sweats, shakes shivering, feeling really thirsty and homesick and really emotional don't know what's to do anyone we have tried everything
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I feel miserable
Can't go do anything no money no car no freinds
Too many bills
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sorry to hear that sending virtual hugs 🫂
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I feel awful . At about noon l need to go to my stuff on Fridays.. But I really find it hard... I can not wait to go to.sleep bu now I am not sure as I had yet another bad night. Only a windfall of.money will help me not to feel this scared.
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Good morning everyone was hoping it may be cooler today 😎 but woke up to the weather report saying its going to be very hot again today. I went to bed about 4am I woke a couple of times during my 5 hours sleep time, my cpap mask needs replacing so im not getting any quality sleep. I need to call the hospital to get a new mask. My poor dog and cat are suffering even with the fans on. Im going to give my dog a wash down today, hopefully he may feel a bit more comfortable. My cat hates water so im not going to be able to cool her off.
I hope that everyone who is
struggling will get a better weekend. It's hard for so many of us in this current climate. Sending you all virtual 🫂 . Be kind to yourselves. You deserve to be feeling better.
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I hear you both and unless anyone suffered from anxiety they would never understand what I've started doing is mantras in my head trying to challenge the anxiety trying to catch myself before I fall so hard when brain wired differently from society so so hard seems impossible but it's not the brain is such a powerful tool we can't live in the past and we can't predict the future all we can do is in the moment I've given my whole life to mental health failed at mostly everything in the structure of this invisible prison but I've come to the conclusion that life will take its course I've isolated myself in a protective bubble that has burst and I will take things as they come I have no choice the only way is day by day and being kind to yourself I get caught in a loop and I'm so cruel to myself the anxiety and depression is crippling but I'm asking you both for today look at the good things you done it could be making a cup of tea putting the bin out could be many things acknowledge this because when you feel this way everything seems impossible pls be kind to yourselves you both deserve peace give yourselves permission to feel this I'm sending my support I hope you have peaceful day
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thank you
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Its another beautiful sunny day here and I feel good but exhausted. I am going to a country pub this evening on the moors.
I live by the sea but it's so nice to venture into the country side and enjoy the beautiful villages that tend to be much quieter this time of the year.
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@Catherine21 great words, all I can add is that I agree 👍
@Grumpy1314 is "BPD" short for bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder - now called emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD)? I was diagnosed with EUPD shortly after the name changed because the change also affected the criteria. I was used as a case-in-point because apparently borderline personality disorder was diagnosed partly through negative behaviours toward others and EUPD reflects that somebody can be, say, angry or abusive, towards themselves but not toward others, which is me. Like I think things about myself that I'd never think of someone else…stuff that if you did to say to another person you'd get arrested. 😆 That kinda sounds a bit like you like self-critical and stuff?
It's like there's 2 extremes, one where you think the world and everyone is at fault and you go super defensive even aggressive…then the other is more insular where you think you're to blame, even if someone is at fault like is rude to you, you just conclude it's because you deserved it
Not trying to diagnose anything just find it interesting to share with someone who potentially has similar stuff
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good afternoon everyone
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