Autism/Depression

Andi66

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/892225#Comment_892225

So sorry to hear that, Everyone is here for you. I think what's

Andi66

Just asking, people with autism do you find relationships and reading the signs baffling? I have been taken in and treated terrible by controlling people and narcissistic ones, who just use you. I find hard to see if someone likes you or just being friendly. My over active mind pictures a romantic relationships with someone I don't know just being nice, thinking oh they like me. But when I found someone I get treated like ****, used and abused. That then I am wary but would like to meet someone but going about it and knowing who to trust confuses me.

I'm in my 50s so maybe past it , so maybe I'm silly thinking about meeting someone. I'm afraid to go on a app as you don't know whose on there. My daughter who also has asd has no problem, she is with a lovely bloke she met on-line.

Does anyone else have these problems or is it just me

Kali85

hiya @Andi66 yeah I had same problems all my life, I’ve attracted so many narcissists over years not just boyfriends but friends and some family members too unfortunately even one narcissistic sociopath! Good hearted people seem to attract these evil people, sociopaths always on the hunt for broken people with lost souls! 50 is not old, it is supposed to be the new 40! Nobody is ever too old to find love and companionship. Maybe give online dating a go, just dont give out your phone number, just message potential partners on the dating app to get to know them and once you feel safe enough exchange numbers, just take it slow, life is too short to just wonder what could of been ❤️

Strawberry1

ThAnk you to @Kali85 , @Andi66 and @DJS7P , the support you give is really appreciated.

Strawberry1

I attract bullies 😒 and people who want to take control.

WhatThe

Strawbs, they think they can fix us..

(we don't need to be fixed but understood)

Strawberry1

Thank you @WhatThe 😊. Take care 🙂

Strawberry1

Really appreciate understanding people

Strawberry1

I was just curious if anyone else doesn't like being around arguments.

Kali85

No I don’t like being around arguments or violence, I get a mad rush of adrenaline all through my body, literally will give me the shakes. I can even sense tensions in the air with people, like I can sense a bad atmosphere like before or after an argument. I don’t like watching any kind of violence on tv either

Strawberry1

I'm glad its not just me @Kali85 , I myself feel similar to yourself. Thank you so much for your time today 💕 I really appreciate it . Please take care of yourself and please be kind to yourself too 💜. Hope you have a reasonable day today 😊.

Andi66

I hate confrontation. I've been a victim of violence in the past, so I get triggered. I just get upset and fearful

Kali85

yeah I’ve had a lot of violence in my life so I get triggered too, I hate gas lighting too it makes my head feel like it’s going to explode, and people lying to me gets me so mad

WhatThe

I used to think that if I told my OH something, he would hear, understand and remember. No.

(with my diagnosis, I still have to remind people of my particular 'disorders' and far less often these days, I also forget and become overwhelmed)

I grew up around lots of arguments and thought this was normal in close relationships..

Only with the last guy did I see what sociopathic behaviour looked like and sounded like. I got away safely once I stopped reacting, protesting and trying to justify myself. I've not been near one since and if I'm alone for the rest of my life, so be it.

Strawberry1

So very sorry to hear the issues you have all faced. I detest arguing / bullying etc it's too alarming . There is no need for it i think some people get a kick out of it . My heart goes out to you @Andi66 , @Kali85 and @WhatThe . Wishing none of those awful things happened . Sending gentle hugs. Thank you for your input . Please always be kind to yourselves.

Albus_Scope

I'm so sorry to hear about the gaslighting and the less than nice partner. I just keep telling myself that not every human is like that and I try to treat each now person as a friend, until they give me reason to think otherwise. But I totally get the want to stay away from people!

WhatThe

Albus, in my case this was before my diagnosis so I don't even know what sort of partner I'd be now but I'd guess far less insecure and much nicer to be around 😊

Albus_Scope

Hah, I do feel that most late diagnosed autistic folk have a before and after personality, I know I've become a load more tolerant and self advocating now.

WhatThe

What surprised and delighted me was finding again some of the original 'me' - the child I was before the taunts changed me!

Albus_Scope

And I'm glad the authentic @WhatThe is with us now. 😁

As my sis said to me "You may be more nervous of people now, but you've certainly got more of a backbone."

The 'tism giveth and it taketh away. 😁