Autism/Depression

Kali85

I think I get through a lot of social situations on adrenaline too, feels like I’m in fight or flight mode a lot of the time and especially if I am forced into certain social interactions/events

Strawberry1

Sounds very familiar that @Kali85 .

Strawberry1

I'm not a fan of social situations.

Strawberry1

Just going to have a bit of time out @Kali85 . Chat again soon . Take care 🙂 💕.

Strawberry1

I'm just really tired @Kali85 .

Kali85

Enjoy your rest, speak soon 😊

Strawberry1

@Kali85 , what is sleep like for yourself? Sometimes I never want to wake up I'd rather stay in bed . Hope it is ok to ask. I apologise in advance if I'm intruding.

Kali85

it’s an absolute nightmare, I have insomnia sooo bad! I have to take sleeping pills every night My brain won’t shut off and if someone has upset me I lay in bed all night thinking about every last tiny detail and no amount of sleeping pills work so I try my hardest to avoid people that stress me out as I can go days with no sleep and I cannot function without sleep. I also just want to stay asleep and sometimes just stay in bed all day where I am so deeply depressed and fed up with everything, it’s a horrible way to live

Kali85

You are not intruding it’s nice to talk with people that understand the struggles we have. My partner doesn’t understand how hard it is

Strawberry1

Thank you @Kali85 , ive had issues with sleep for years and like yourself if something upsets me I would not be able to sleep because of my racing mind . I don't think any family member who is not going through such stuff would ever understand. Thank you , thank you and thank you again 💓

Kali85

Wow racing mind is a perfect way to explain it, thank you Strawberry1

Strawberry1

Your welcome @Kali85 . No problem 😊.

Strawberry1

I also don't deal with change in circumstances very well either . Something occurred the other day where I put in a position where I had to change the way I usually do something. I felt panicked , upset and very very stressed . Is this something you experience ?

Kali85

Yes it happens all the time, if my plans change my brain feels like it’s going to explode, I think it’s bcoz I plan every last detail in my head before hand. I also have to do everything a certain way or my brain gets overwhelmed, even going into supermarkets I have walk round the correct way I cannot walk off down an aisle I have to follow it round the way it’s laid out, or like hanging my washing out I get annoyed if my partner tries to help as I do it in a ritual kind of way same with everything i do, every last thing has to be put in the correct place otherwise it feels too chaotic and I get irritated, it is exhausting having a brain wired like mine. Is it the same for you?

Andi66

Seeing your posts on Autism, for me . I go over and over situations in my head of what happened and other senerios of alternative situations. I often need time for myself which people can't deal with or understand. I also have physical health problems.

A ex friend when I needed time for myself was.so vile. Slagging me off, me having counselling etc . I was always there for her. Even when I felt drained and ill, used to meet her in town. I now personally don't want friends as such, always get used by mean people .I have done nothing wrong only wanted space for a little while , so unfair

Kali85

I do exact same thing, literally any social interaction whether it’s in person or fone call I replay the whole thing in my head over n over on a loop it’s drives me mad! I do this even if it’s not a bad interaction any interaction leads to me replaying every last detail in my head bcoz of me doing this I have to have time alone bcoz it feels exhausting and I can’t stop doing it, nice to know that I am not the only one that does this. I also seem to attract mean ppl that just wana take from me n have no consideration or compassion for how I am feeling so I also tend to avoid most ppl too

Strawberry1

I'm the same @Kali85 with change in circumstances.

Jimm_Scope

I will often lay at night and replay things that have happened during the day and try to imagine how I could've done better. It isn't always a healthy thing though, so I do try and stop myself if I notice I'm going over something too much.

Strawberry1

We do seem to have a lot in common here. It is good to talk because it does help others alot . Thank you @Kali85 , @Andi66 and @Jimm_Scope Thank you 😊.

Andi66

Helps me, apart from my daughter I don't know anyone else with autism. Once your diagnosed which I was very late in life, you don't get any help after. My daughter the same she was at 14 , no help . I hope more is done by Labour to get more help , etc understanding of people with autism.