Room for husband

lees

Hi, in a 3 bedroom, got son at home and daughter with her 7 mnth old baby, im in 3rd room and husband sleeps downstairs ( has done for 2 years) im his carer hes recently been diagnosed with young onset dementia along with alot of other health issues , barely sleeps throught the night which has me up and down, ( went down 5am and hes lit all 4 rings on cooker and fell bk asleep, said he was cold! daughter desperately trying to move out , needs her own place and i need husband up here in her room so i can keep a closer eye on him and keep him safe, any way i can get council to move her quicker as getting nowhere and im loosing the will, lucky if i get 5 hrs sleep and then its interupted as im worried if hes upto anything downstairs 😪

Kimmy87

Unfortunately there is a chronic shortage of social housing and very very high demand.

The only way I can think of is for you to evict her, which understandably you probably don't want to do.

She and the baby would then go into temporary accommodation which might be as basic as a bed and breakfast, although could be a family homeless unit.

Her priority for re housing would then increase as homeless but there would still be a wait, plus depending on local policy she might not be allowed to refuse a property and end up living somewhere she doesn't really want to.

I'm concerned about you and your husband, has he had a needs assessment and have you had a carers assessment?

Are you getting any help day to day or respite care?

If he is leaving the cooker on then is it safe for him to be at home- I'm not sure it's sustainable or practical for your health to think sharing a bedroom and supervising him more closely will solve the problem.

Consistent lack of sleep for you will only lead to burnout.

I've been in a similar situation with a parent where their needs came first for such a long time- with poor consequences for my own existing health problems.

Towards the end of that situation I had to have my existing pain medication increased permanently.

lees

Its so draining, hes not that bad dementia side just very forgetful, can forget what you talked about couple hours ago, he said he knew he put cooker on as he was cold but doesnt get it when i told him it should of been turned off before you went back to sleep, no help as we can manage it just scares me when i hear him up so need to go down and check, he takes sleeping tablet aswell! Hope my daughter gets somewhere as going bk to work in few mnth so cant be far away and i need to get him in her room so hes more comfortable, he wont swap with me

Holly_Scope

Hi @lees I'm so sorry to read about your situation. It must be incredibly difficult for you all.

Just a thought, have you had a needs assessment completed by your local council? They may be able to offer you some additional support.

Best wishes,

Holly.

Bluebell21

Hi @lees

https://www.gov.uk/apply-needs-assessment-social-services

Mary_Scope

Hi @lees

It sounds like you're in a very difficult situation with a lot of pressure on you. It's completely understandable that you're losing your will and struggling with sleep.

To help find housing for your daughter, it can be helpful to collect any and all evidence that supports your daughters need to move out. This may be things like medical reports for your husband mentioning his dementia an risks associated with him being downstairs alone etc. Letters from your GP or other healthcare professionals emphasizing the impact on yours and your daughters health and wellbeing due to lack of sleep and stress and any evidence of overcrowding in your current home.

Once you've collected all the evidence it can be helpful to contact the your local councils housing department and explain the situation in detail backed up with your evidence and then request a formal review of your daughters housing application. This is because new evidence can show a change in circumstances and show the higher need for housing.

Shelter offer free housing advice and support so they may be good to contact. I see a needs assessment has already mentioned and this is definitely a good way of accessing support for yourself and your husband.

Hope this was helpful, please reach out if you have more questions or would like further support.

lees

Thankyou