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  • sam12
    sam12 Posts: 1,337 Empowering
    Any one like new poem not a comment on it 
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,752 Online Community Programme Lead
    How long have you been off the benzo now Sam?
  • sam12
    sam12 Posts: 1,337 Empowering
    Since 2011 still sufferin proacted still issues though worse mistake meeting my husband but I wouldn't of meet my bf now I don't regret bf thou 
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Online Community Member Posts: 7,877 Championing
    Sorry @sam12 for not replying sooner, been writing a lot today. A very powerful poem you have created! Have you always liked poetry?
  • sam12
    sam12 Posts: 1,337 Empowering
    Only few years learning more enjoyable good time wen ur not well express how it feels inside people say it strong but very dark 
  • sam12
    sam12 Posts: 1,337 Empowering
    Made a formal complaint to nhs commission about Dr failing to call me today am already at my lowest today because it would of been my child birthday today he or she be 26 if this bad enough to deal with hunts me every year. Am fed up with being neglected by drs mh social worker and support worker. Not able to talk to bf. Coping with family abuse. My health to I serious kant deal with anymore I just want to be better. 
  • sam12
    sam12 Posts: 1,337 Empowering
    No one to turn to my anxiety very out of control making me very upset am terrified alone. No Dr that give a damn about my health am ready for a break down. Am struggling with sleep. I need meds kant get them making me suicidal feel am goin to explode out am getting very upset 
  • sam12
    sam12 Posts: 1,337 Empowering
    Will anyone talk to me on the phn am not in good mind my anxiety ready to explode big think I be ready for break down my system shaking sleeping really effected badly thinking bad things that on goin not suicide attempt 
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,752 Online Community Programme Lead
    edited July 2019
    Good morning @sam12.
    I’m sorry you’ve reeling so bad.
    Our helpline (08088003333) opens at 9am this morning. But in the meantime, you could call Samaritans (116 123) who can talk things through with you.  

    You can also talk to us on here, or by email if you prefer it to be more private? 
  • atlas46
    atlas46 Online Community Member Posts: 817 Pioneering
    Hi @sam12

    Please phone your GP, so they can support you.

    Stay safe, my dear friend.
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 584 Listener
    I was just about to suggest the Samaritans and then I saw Adrian's post! I've used their email option before, it can take a bit for them to respond because they are helping other people but they do always respond.
  • sam12
    sam12 Posts: 1,337 Empowering

    I rang yesterday Dr for a call not a call come then I txt at nite they did not call me I rang up I said I made call time with Dr he looked at call list someone removed my name I have the call photo that I rang yesterday. I wait on a dr call am sick of it. My anxiety isn't good it over powering me I kant stick it withdrawal mucus not helping me am gagging I think infection again. I missin my bf making me unwell to. And something from the past is hunting me yesterday I never can forget the experience of it 
  • sam12
    sam12 Posts: 1,337 Empowering
    Who does he think he is bossing me around old Dr from other practice wanting me to get new Dr I was in this practice b4fore him because he from. Old surgery I had to make a formal complaint against another Dr he using this against me because am in new practice he kant do that I had enough am not bothering with drs anymore 
  • sam12
    sam12 Posts: 1,337 Empowering
    edited July 2019
    In the life of mental health
    Age 16 diagnosed with unstable
    Borderline personality disorder
    Don't know who I am
    All very scary
    Moods are intense
    This horrible illness damaging my mind
    I get scared of people
    I find every day unable to function or lead a Normal life
    No one wants me
    People think am crazy
    People bully me
    To scared in my mind
    Trapped inside I don't feel normal
    Deep down it don't
    I kant deal with changes
    Kant deal with multiple changes in my mind
    People don't respect me
    Every day I fear of the episodes
    That hunt me in my mind
    Kant stick crowds
    I feel unsafe in places I don't know
    Fear of being out alone need that support of someone with me
    Why God give me this horrid illness
    Every day I lived I hated every day of my tortured life
    Why no one love me
    All I want is love
    Not being judged because i have a borderline personality disorder
    It's crippling at is it is without being bullied and neglected
    No one asked to be born to deal with mental health. One day it all end I don't know that day will arrive but someone pls love me not to. Judge my bpd
  • Chloe_Alumni
    Chloe_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 10,506 Championing
    Thank you for such a powerful piece @sam12, how has your weekend been?
  • sam12
    sam12 Posts: 1,337 Empowering
    Did a survey online app they mentioned this charity I gave good feedback 
  • Chloe_Alumni
    Chloe_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 10,506 Championing
    Aw that's really lovely @sam12! Thank you for the feedback :)
  • sam12
    sam12 Posts: 1,337 Empowering
    This is my protest cardigan I had Made around 1998 against culling the town pigeons I lot of work I did thou Eddie the pigeon 
  • sam12
    sam12 Posts: 1,337 Empowering
    Quite and no talking to anyone at all. Anxiety been up and down. This withdrawal weight increases in angles. Ot cause it working it way around out of wack my body. Investigation still on goin. I really getting angry who this hacker is serious my bf miss me to. I did a journel on him over wkend all kept private always will be though something to show him 
  • Chloe_Alumni
    Chloe_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 10,506 Championing
    Hi @sam12, I'm sorry to hear your anxiety has been up and down. How has your Monday been?

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