How is your day going?

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  • Schildpad
    Schildpad Online Community Member Posts: 754 Empowering

    I took my medicines later yesterday so I slept badly. Now I feel lethargic. Also again I am awake and scared. I hate the feeling. I need to go to the supermarket..

    I feel some people are even trying to make me feel guilty because I have some good moments. How unfair.

    I need to get some strength to go to the supermarket but I think i am not leaving home afterwards..

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 15,299 Championing

    @Schildpad

    I'm sorry to hear how you feel.

    I often feel people make me feel guilty for having my health problems. My CPTSD gets triggered when I read things that suggests I'm a bad person. It's co-morbid with my gender dysphoria and I often feel society is out to tell me I'm horrible because of my gender (which I don't even align with!). When I try to explain being born male doesn't make me bad then people think I'm being old-fashioned or right wing when I'm not because I'm not defending all men I'm just defending myself

    If I was a proud male it'd be different but to be put in a box that I didn't ask to be put in and then criticised for supposedly being in that box makes me feel really horrible

  • Chris75_
    Chris75_ Online Community Member Posts: 3,834 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1064273#Comment_1064273

    Was the elderly lady shaken up by the incident? I hope she was OK.

  • Chris75_
    Chris75_ Online Community Member Posts: 3,834 Championing

    How can you bear it? I'd rather be tied down and forced to watch Thora Hird presenting Songs of Praise! 😮

  • Nicebrit
    Nicebrit Online Community Member Posts: 194 Empowering

    Morning all, apologies for not posting in what seems ages. Life seems to be taking its toll on me.

    Been keeping busy not through choice. Just finding life really tough at present.

    Hope you're all keeping okay

    Best wishes

    Me

  • Schildpad
    Schildpad Online Community Member Posts: 754 Empowering

    Trying to cope. I feel I am pushing myself. I can not change what happened I am out in the supermarket. I need and I hope it doesn't rain.....

  • Chris75_
    Chris75_ Online Community Member Posts: 3,834 Championing
    edited September 2

    I wouldn't be amused if some bloke shouted at any of my long departed grandmothers. We'll all be old one day too.

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 15,299 Championing

    I don't know what to do, I just want someone to reassure me

    I'm so needy and stupid I know and I'm sorry, I just want someone to make me feel ok

    I'm sorry for posting as I'm not worth reading anyway, I'm sorry for everything and for being horrible, I'm just sorry

  • Schildpad
    Schildpad Online Community Member Posts: 754 Empowering

    @66Mustang life is very unfair. It is pack with mistakes and wrongdoing. I am sorry. You are not needed..you need comfort. I do write here for comfort and being understood and accepted. I feel awful but at times not even writing here helps. As they say. Good times will come at the right time. I just hope they will come to you soon. You are neither stupid. You need reassurance everything will be ok.. I have to believe there will be some closure and things will change to the way they were even if they were not ok.and do not feel sorry for looking for some sympathy. We all need it .

    Anyway back home and I will remain here.. tomorrow will be another day.

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 15,299 Championing

    You're kind @Schildpad

    I think I want understanding rather than sympathy, I hate feeling misunderstood, I guess you can relate?

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 15,299 Championing

    You're kind @Schildpad

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 15,299 Championing

    @Schildpad I think I want to feel understood rather than sympathy if that makes sense?

  • Schildpad
    Schildpad Online Community Member Posts: 754 Empowering
    edited September 2

    @66Mustang thank you. Yes I do. I always felt the odd one out in my family and out there. And maybe that is difficult .I only feel understood in some settings but it is hard to be understood.. In particular disability wise. Few people get it. I would just try to get on with life the best you can. It is good to not deal with people who do not understand you or make you feel bad and only keep those who you know you care or you feel they care for you. I have cut off wih some people in my life. But it is not easy.

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 15,299 Championing
    edited September 2

    @Schildpad

    I totally get about only engaging with people who understand, and can see why you'd do that.

    I guess I'm a bit like my dog, too optimistic 😆. Like my dog, I'll engage with anyone, assuming everyone might be a friend, only to realise there are people who - without knowing me - decide I'm an enemy based on things like how I look, gender, disability etc.

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 15,299 Championing

    I'm off to go to a group now but thanks @Schildpad it meant a lot

  • Schildpad
    Schildpad Online Community Member Posts: 754 Empowering
    edited September 2

    weather is bad and with the weather so is my mood. feeling rather down. i am going to relax and try to cheer up watching tv.. but it is a long day until bed time… and i am not keen on yet another day tomorrow. but tomorrow i have something to do. and at least i will be busy for a few hours.. even though i will be back before 3 pm. Tomorrow at least my mind will be busy and i will not be thinking about anything.

  • Schildpad
    Schildpad Online Community Member Posts: 754 Empowering

    @66Mustang thank you.. happy to help and you are welcome…… one thing i have to learn is being optimistic and positive… i really have to. enjoy your group.. seeing people really helps as it keeps all the worries away for a while…

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 8,338 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1064385#Comment_1064385

    I just been diagnosed with cptsd well was written on letter from psyc doctor I have body dismorphia where I can't look in mirrors photos ect I'm repulsed by myself

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 8,338 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1064405#Comment_1064405

    Hey you don't need to be sorry your scared so it's overwhelming you have never been rude or disrespectful if anything extremely kind supportive everything is OK you have to keep telling yourself this did you get anything nice at supermarket and your post are worth reading

  • Amberpearl
    Amberpearl Online Community Member Posts: 3,245 Championing

    I'm. Exhausted

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