Mental health

Hi Catherine,

Even though it’s still the day after me bawling my eyes out, I’m kind of still shook up by it and can’t figure out how it just suddenly happened. My Father is an emotionally abusive and controlling person, who I barely spoke to even living under the same roof up until 2012, in fact I kind of look from childhood up until the year I moved out and we never had any meaningful conversations other than a few words here and there. I guess that once my Mum and Dad pass, it’s going to be up to my Sister to organise and pay for there funerals or if either has to go into a home fund that as well. My Sister is very much a Daddy’s girl and someone who I never got on with or liked. Over ten years since I’ve seen them or other members of my family with no formal lines of contact, no phone numbers etc. They don’t know where I live, have my address or my telephone number. Guess it takes guts to stand up and say I don’t want any further contact between us and for the first time in my life physically stand up for myself against them. Main protagonists were always my father, sister, my dads brother, wife and three daughters. I always respected and looked out for my Mum when I lived at home, but since the less than acrimonious split ten years ago, I’ve had to kind of look at the bigger picture with my Mum. I’ve since found out she didn’t want a second child, felt forced into having me, when I was born due to how poorly I was she said to a health professional - would people think of me as bad if I gave him up, health professionals were regularly telling my mum to tell me she loved me and later down the road when I was in a boarding school in the lakes, she was begging for funding to keep me at school 365 days a year 😔 when you see in black and white that as a child I told a social worker that I felt that I was being treated differently at home compared to my sister. I was always the hexagon sized piece that didn’t fit into a round hole! The only people I truly felt akin to and really gelled with was my Mums side of the family, who sadly many have passed away in a short time frame and I didn’t get to say goodbye or see before they passed, mainly due to my mother and sister having a falling out with them and I was barred from seeing them by my mother. Until my Uncle who was my Godfather passed away, it’s something I can never forgive my Mum for.

I just hope there all ok and are safe and have kind of said goodbye to them in my own way.

Morning all.

I hope you all have as pleasant a day as you can.

I have been unable to go out for two weeks due to health issues.

I am hoping to get out for a couple of hours tonight if I feel up to it.

Hey Zippy. I hope your feeling better this morning. I was reading your post and just wanted to say that I really do feel like you have the gift of storytelling. Have you thought about writing abook on your life? You articulate so beautifully despite the pain and sorrow behind the words….

I watched a beautiful movie, based on a true story recently and your post regarding your father triggered my memory of it so thought I would share it with you..Stay strong my friend

Hi

Nice to see you back.

I hope you are well.

Things are not the same without Bluebell and Albus

hey, great to see you again

glad to hear all that 😃💛

I sorry I left for 8 months I had no choice a member here just annoyed me so much and I had such mental health and physical health issues.

Although I can't guarantee I'll always be around I'll not close the account again and will always as before have your back with support.

I have arthritis and heart failure now it took them a while because I only just turned 43 and they looked at other things first for the widespread edema (swelling) especially with my family history of renal issues but my kidneys (touch wood are perfect) unfortunately my heart seems to be packing up instead.

@Zippy1983 I think just having communication on here helps when we are faced with situations we feel out of control of.Sending love your way X

@Catherine 21 dearest who always has the sweetest words.I couldn't end the evening without a note to say how lovely you are on here too.Always x