Mental health
Comments
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Thirded (if it's such a word!).
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I know god albus helped us all so so so much never forgotten never and bluebell so kind always a good morning and good night
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He had a unique ability to see the good in even dire situations and always tried to offer a calming angle.
yes always said goodnight etc and she always checked on me when I went quiet such a lovely person.
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I’m kind of just going to dip in and out of here occasionally. I’m struggling really badly with my mental health and physical health at the moment. I’m feeling exhausted all the time, don’t have the energy or drive to do any housework let alone personal care. I’d say I’m just neglecting myself and the dungeon I live in. I’m now just eating a bowl of cereal a day and don’t have energy to do anything else.
The last six weeks I’ve just gone into a downward spiral and with the big C next month it’s not helping the mood not one iota. I sit and I honestly say to myself “Why am I so broken and still alive” I scraped myself out of bed at 7 today to put the rubbish out, then just stagnated on the sofa fighting the urge to sleep. Had to have a sleep at dinner and at tea time I nodded off again. This time I’ve taken myself back to bed, just wish I knew what was wrong with me and who I must have been in a past life to be such an awful person to be still around today.
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I can relate I've got clinical depression it responds to nothing never has it comes in bad waves but is always constant.
the thing next month you mention isn't a great time for me and I don't particularly like it either.
I also spend most my time in a phugoid motion like an aircraft with no tail rudder, I'll bury myself in huge piles of films, my radio station etc and ignore reality, so I climb and climb upwards then I'll think about something and pitch down at full acceleration.
Since my mum had a cardiac arrest in march I've been worse than ever, because she's my only family as well as my carer and appointee I've wasted months myself violently unwell with what if I lose her, I'll say to her I'm scared about your health and future and what happens.
as I literally can't communicate face to face or by phone and my learning issues prevent me learning and maintaining information I'd not be able to deal with anything that would ever involve a phone call or face to face and the DWP would shred me apart because they just refuse to get ot and mum is like a barrier they can't get passed to do that.
The Gp knows I have a planned way out down to the finest detail and keeps a check on me but he also knows I'd never activate that plan unless literally there was no way out , no option no hope.
mum bless her just doesn't get it why I'm scared and why I keep going on about it she is so calm and like don't worry now etc etc or don't jump ahead.
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@Nightcity changing the subject to something I think you are a bit of an expert on and to save me googling.I know you are a movie expert with all the movies abd dvds you've watched.I was telling my son about Michael Caine and my late dad used to quote this movie where Michael said "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off".But I dont know the movie?.Any ideas?.
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The Italian Job???
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Is it ok thanks x.
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yes it's the Italian job 😃
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He really did he taught me more than most therapists he was respectful kind he drew us all in togeather never left anyone out god I can imagine how his family and scope muss him if he can shine through a phone a computer I can only imagine his kind face smile and aura lite up a room you have that ability to calm and explain and support its a rare quality in a person people always remember who showed them kindness when thier world is dark
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I do have another one @Nightcity that is a bit vague which has been driving me nuts for years and ive googled it but never found it.My dad told me he watched a movie with he thought Jack Nicholson and the line in the movie was "get the ball Ray".I have no idea what the movie was about but im guessing baseball or some kind of ball game.But I do remember him talking about this movie
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A few good men is a possibility although I've not seen it but I know it has baseball in it as he spoke about it in an interview
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Ooh that's interesting.Ive not seen that.Ill have a look.Thank.you
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horror and thrillers are more my area of expertise oh and terrible but fun old soaps I grew up with and still own and rewatch from the beginning like prisoner cell block H, sons and Daughters, shortland Street, sunset beach etc
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Prisoner of cell block H classic used to sing he used to buy me flowers and get upset lol oh those dungarees!! And now I've got sons and daughters theme time in my head cant beat the oldies
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I know I can't believe that they released the entire series of both on DVD. Never could see that happening back in the ITV days.
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The Italian Job
https://youtu.be/bPpgg5rwxpA?si=A9mqkZjshKuckS4l
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Sounds like you’re in a never ending cycle of turbulence and never know what’s going on from one day to the next. I’m sorry to hear about your Mum ❤️
My GP has been good with my mental health, however the CMHT has shall we say been lacking in support the last five years, I even had to check myself into a mental health unit voluntarily after my ex ended our marriage. I could have gone down the other fork in the road I was planing on taking but didn’t which some say speaks volumes in me as a person.
I to have learning difficulties alongside the long term ADHD, ASD, Depression and Anxiety the emotionally unstable borderline personality disorder chucked into the mix in 2023 with all the physical stuff mixed in for good measure.
I love reading but just struggle to pick a book up now, the large collection I do have are all in boxes. Likewise my Lego kits are in storage for once I’ve had my flat decorated. I did use dualingo learning Scottish Gaelic but have just put it on the back burner. I just wish I knew who I was as I honestly don’t know from one day to the next.
I’ve told health professionals of my plans for if things got beyond a point of no return but have said I refuse to act on them. For over six months I’ve been paying for a non attendance cremation service for the future.I’ve not had contact with any of my family in ten years through personal choice, with my friends I’ve closed contact with them. I’ve just got to a point where I am fed up of nobody messaging to actually ask how I’m doing. I’ve also come to the realisation my life has gone in a different direction to there’s alongside I’ve said to two of my closest friends I’m not a good person, that I shouldn’t be part of there lives and that they have there family and friends around them. I also said I’m not a good person to be around either.
I’ve got to work with a council area coordinator and I honestly don’t know where to begin on trying to live again let alone have the confidence to leave my flat alone to go into the city centre, I mainly only venture to the GP.
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Our stories seem very alike.
The mental health clinic discharged me numerous times saying I never get better worse and basically as I respond to nothing we're wasting each others time.
just like yourself I've disowned what little family I have by choice also so I only have mum and she doesn't get why I am frightened it's not getting through.
with me it's films more than books and I have spells I consider selling them and it's all an effort.
I have a cremation also it's already paid for and nobody would come anyway because of my isolation and issues I live a very lonely life partly my own fault partly trauma of past events abuse, bullying etc.
And again like yourself I also rarely go out about three times a year and that's often the GP.
Hopefully you can continue to feel wanted here as I know your feeling, that's why I'm back here after leaving 8 months back, there are/was a couple of members who would keep swiping at me and I just thought that's it I'm gone but I missed the Many truly amazing people here and remembered there's an ignore list 😁
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So I've been back 4 days and a lot has changed in that 8 months I was gone.
The VERY first thing I saw was about Albus which upset and shocked me so my first post was in that thread, then before I even made another post I saw bluebell had gone which also upset me but glad she's ok, and now after doing a search to find other old friends I see we've also lost agnia and Sandy hasn't posted for a while.
I am glad to reunite with many of you that are still here though This has certainly been joint worse year of my life along with 2013. I think even though I've had clinical depression some 28 years it's only now I'm realising how severe it actually is and how without me noticing as it happened how it's isolated me from a normal life along with the severity of my autistic traits with socialising.
hope everyone's doing ok today 💛
I've always been most comfortable to be myself in this thread as there's some very special people who frequent it.
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