Mental health

Nightcity, Strawberry1, people say I'm Scrooge 'cos I hate Christmas - I don't HATE it, I like the idea of a special baby being born and decorated trees and lights but it so commercial now, and I think if you're not a people person you're not going to like the parties and family problems and if you're not feeling the best it is the WORST time of year because everyone thinks you should be happy and partying so if you're alone and unhappy you feel so detached from the world. Everything that's not great in your life just feels bigger in contrast to all the happy, shiny, partygoing razzmatazz. As I've got older the cold and gloom and dark seems to get to me mentally and physically and everybody just seems more silly and more noisy and more irritating lol You have to fight to buy any food, the shops and towns are rammed, everybody's wasting money and forcing all their loud Christmas music on everyone else - it's not an easy time for me. Plus I have family issues that just seem to get bigger and more noticeable at Christmas. I miss my Dad. I hate fireworks at New Year. All my neighbours are home for weeks having noisy parties. New Year is all hope and resolutions and big plans so if your life's not great it's quite depressing and hard to do the whole 'new hope' thing. If you're not feeling enthusiastic then there's nothing worse than a load of over enthusiastic people in your face, it's like being the only sober person in a pub being pestered by p*ss heads! lol

You see I really am a miserable old witch lol

I had my autism diagnosis just before Christmas time and I remember the lovely lady wishing me 'a quiet Christmas' with a smile - I thought, only SHE could know that that was exactly the sort of Christmas I wanted!