Complex PTSD and no help available

JeremyJ

HollyGCat said:

@JeremyJ I’m okay and sorry. Yes I’m trying. Coming of the tablets is really affecting me. I’m trying, but my life is so chaotic. My failing, which is how I see it, has affected everyone around me. Utter regret and guilt. 

I actually don’t know what to think. For someone who used to be so decisive and competent, I feel stripped away. I think I am struggling with all the varying views and I need to work out what’s right for me. I feel very confused as there is such a strength of varying views and my head is not in a place where I can decipher what I think.

I am not psychotic, yet, today, my younger self was in the corner of my room. Now I know she wasn’t, so I know this is not saying I’m psychotic, and perhaps my brain and the withdrawal are affecting my reality, but I saw her, felt her, and she was distressed, and I was helpless to help her. Perhaps this is madness...but whatever it was frightening.

I have a lot of difficult things to deal with and perhaps I should come off the forum until I’ve dealt with them.

I genuinely don’t want to spread negativity to people who have their own struggles.

I am grateful to those of you who have given your experience and kindness. Some who I connect with strongly.

I for this reason, feel my presence on this forum with my extreme emotions is unhelpful to others. I am sorry for anyone who has been negatively affected by my comments.

Keep fighting and as @SurvivingTara
has said, you are all good enough

Hi Holly - I wasn't on medication for long and didn't taper coming off, wasn't enjoyable and so imagine you're in a really difficult place and am really sorry to hear that. I feel absolute responsibility towards the impact I've had on my children in particular, but I think sometimes I realise that this is my own stuff/childhood response and that they maybe don't feel the same - still, it can stay with me for a long time. 

I had a total emotional flashback/zoning out/dissociative episode at the weekend (lasted from Sunday lunchtime until early Monday am), triggered when I was with my partner - I think specifically maybe feelings of being abandoned - but the lead up to this was three intensive evenings with my daughters, really busy at work, rushing around, trying to meet all the varying demands etc etc and maybe me placing too much importance of the short time I had with my partner at the weekend (and possibly also me not being able to say what I need or feel clearly, possibly with the fear of rejection) and possibly most importantly not keeping up the self care habitats that help tame my emotional dysregulation.

You're right, it's all about finding out about what works for you - there's so much advice and it's very confusing - everyone has their own experience, feelings etc and none of us knows how each other thinks or feels), and taking each day at a time, forwards, backwards, forwards. I certainly beat myself up when I feel like I'm going backwards, but then I've spent a lifetime habitually blaming myself for everything.  

You definitely don't spread any negativity at all, just your own experiences.  I previously felt triggered by the reactive posts of others that to me feel dismissive, certainly not yours. I've found your posts and Tara's particularly helpful and supportive.

I too have thought about leaving this forum, I really feel that this is a platform to share experience, ideas, help etc that are specific to CPTSD and not to be dismissive. 

I really hope you're ok and you give of kind helpful energy on this forum despite your own problems. Take Care.

SurvivingTara

Holly G Cat, thank you for your posts. so pleased you reached out to the forum and expressed how it was for you at the time!!.  It is in times of crisis we need unconditional support.

I am not bothered how you present, and post, it is your journey, and how you feel at the time. You are good enough and unique and a wonderful Holly G Cat. Just pleased you are there. Extreme emotions need to be out, apologise not for you., .

I hear you saying how do you know, I am OK. Yes, I do know .

Firstly, if anyone is coming down off drugs, drugs can affect the body. Fact, it is well known. So if you are attempting to do this, it must be a slow activity, and you and your partner and family must understand you are doing this. Do not try to deal with other things until you feel somewhat better.

I was hooked on Valium, age 20 and pain killers for 30 years all in an attempt to quell symptoms of trauma.. Coming off them was like being an addict the body craves. AT THE TIME I did not realise what I was doing, the trying to get rid of symptoms, we are educated to do this. However, if that is a choice (and for some it is it has to be acknowledged), to take the tabs, that is a choice, and where people are.

Secondly, This is a time when you need support and the forum, you need to express how you feel, it is vital and I am OK with this.

Thirdly, work on dropping labelling yourself, and searching to fit yourself into a slot labelled. You are Holly G Cat a wonderful being that you always were and are. You have been traumatized and the effects of this along (without tab effects), is strong. You are dealing with this.

Fourthly, it is so vitally important, important, important, (more times if you wish), to end the berating of yourself, the feeling guilty and apologising for your very existence. Be kind to yourself, you do not need berating.!!!!!!!!!!

Start being kind to your little HollyG Cat as you would any child. Holly G Cat needs kindness and compassion... Please try, slowly to be kind. It may be hard for when we have a difficult start in the womb and early life we have been conditioned to see ourselves as not good enough. Only conditioned to, not a fact, 

Fifthly, our inner child ( and you have glimpsed her, in the corner of the room, which is wonderful and has been traumatized), responds with fear and terror when you berate, tell it off, say its guilty and so it has been made to feel worthless - not good enough again when it is NOT !!!!!!!!!!!!. 

Please, encourage Holly G Cat, even if its moment by moment, daily. It is progress.

Take things slowly. You are doing it. It is courageous to be waking up and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. You are not alone, many of us have had a similar journey. It is scary but you are coming through this.

Even at 72, (no matter where I have been in life or where I have worked and what I have studied) I need support, (we all do) so I am off to  my therapist today.

To understand, anything can trigger us to act in certain behaviour patterns.

You need support. We all do. Thanks for posting.

I am glad you reached out and expressed yourself.

Take it slowly today.....Even if, just for today, moment by moment, just be kind to yourself. You need it.

Hang in there !!!!!!! Please.....

newborn

@Jeremyj thanks  so much for the link to the c...y childhood fairy .   At last .
So far,  haven't  viewed  much, but she seems ideal.

Please,  everyone,  check JeremyJ 's  link to her site.

She's one of us.  

SurvivingTara

JeremyJ, thanks for the link  crappy fairy... Really good and tells it from experience also.

You say `I had a total emotional flashback/zoning out/dissociative episode at the weekend (lasted from Sunday lunchtime until early Monday am), triggered when I was with my partner - I think specifically maybe feelings of being abandoned`. 

 Feel for you, the flashbacks are on us before we know it.. So quick... Abandonment, yes this fear for us always around the corner..

Hope things are OK for you today or a bit better. Working through all this is exhausting anyway and if we get tired and push ourself it is worse I find.

Good night and hope things are better for you.

Thank you for posting..

newborn

Have watched  several of c.... fairy's  u tubes  now, and  cannot  disagree  with   a word she says. 
(Thanks again for link, @Jonathan J)

She is one of us. That, above all, matters.   She points out that anyone trained, and anyone treated, for childhood  trauma,  can  n o t  have any useful information,  by definition,  because until around 6 or 7 years  ago nobody had even thought about looking at evidence.   
(They had, but the treatment industry ignored what was inconvenient, and of course  there will never be funding and lobbying  to derail any gravy train.)

For many centuries,  fully trained and qualified doctors 'treated' people  by  charging them a fee and applying  leeches.   Some patients were strong enough to  survive, and they praised and paid the doctors for 'curing' them.   Nobody  blamed the doctors for the patients  who died, even 'despite'  having had vast amounts of blood removed, and despite the doctor having pocketed most of the family's savings.

The c...... childhood fairy is placatory to those who with good intentions do harm for profit, and those who submit to being harmed.   

My own take is,  a human  has a vested interest in never questioning or considering  contra-evidence, after he  has devoted years of  himself to, for example,  believing  in any cult.   Both the priests and the followers m u s t  continue,  grabbing straws of confirmation  they are n o t  wrong.  ( See, the rain ceremonies must be right, the priests must be paid out of the resources of the rest of us,    because sometimes,  fairly soon after the rituals,  there actually is some rain.)

Childhood survivors who have undergone years of medication,  labelling, and mental health 'treatments ', will be reluctant to  believe there is any need for new thinking, even now the truth is out.    They are invested in a belief system.   The leech applying doctors  would  not have welcomed the facts about blood circulation or about the  work our blood does to cure our bodies.   

(Surgeons  even resisted for decades, and ganged up in fury against,  the  first whistleblower among them,  who suggested they might wash their hands.!   He didn't then comprehend the process of infection,  but he was simply looking at statistics,  noticing that when babies were delivered by midwives,  few  mothers died, but when surgeons had delivered babies, a great number of the mothers soon died of what was then called childbed fever.  It is now correctly recognised  as infection by contaminated hands of sugeons who walked into wards directly after cutting up diseased corpses)



The c... childhood  fairy gives facts. Medication is in most cases  not  supported  by evidence. Counselling is bad, harmful, for child trauma.  Labels are rarely meaningful or helpful.

 She doesn't  mention it, but I read the report and statistics, that actually,  it is bad for most, as proved  by the 9./11 New York aftermath.  When investigators  tracked the  well being  of survivors,  they  discovered that only for a minority  was  professional counselling  any help.  The majority  who either declined the insistently offered 'treatment',  or else  submitted, were  all followed up.   The result  was they were discovered months and years later to be suffering badly, compared to a  non-counselled  matched cohort.

dolfrog

newborn said:

The c...... childhood fairy is placatory to those who with good intentions do harm for profit, and those who submit to being harmed.   

My own take is,  a human  has a vested interest in never questioning or considering  contra-evidence, after he  has devoted years of  himself to, for example,  believing  in any cult.   Both the priests and the followers m u s t  continue,  grabbing straws of confirmation  they are n o t  wrong.  ( See, the rain ceremonies must be right, the priests must be paid out of the resources of the rest of us,    because sometimes,  fairly soon after the rituals,  there actually is some rain.)

Childhood survivors who have undergone years of medication,  labelling, and mental health 'treatments ', will be reluctant to  believe there is any need for new thinking, even now the truth is out.    They are invested in a belief system.   The leech applying doctors  would  not have welcomed the facts about blood circulation or about the  work our blood does to cure our bodies.   

(Surgeons  even resisted for decades, and ganged up in fury against,  the  first whistleblower among them,  who suggested they might wash their hands.!   He didn't then comprehend the process of infection,  but he was simply looking at statistics,  noticing that when babies were delivered by midwives,  few  mothers died, but when surgeons had delivered babies, a great number of the mothers soon died of what was then called childbed fever.  It is now correctly recognised  as infection by contaminated hands of sugeons who walked into wards directly after cutting up diseased corpses)



The c... childhood  fairy gives facts. Medication is in most cases  not  supported  by evidence. Counselling is bad, harmful, for child trauma.  Labels are rarely meaningful or helpful.

 She doesn't  mention it, but I read the report and statistics, that actually,  it is bad for most, as proved  by the 9./11 New York aftermath.  When investigators  tracked the  well being  of survivors,  they  discovered that only for a minority  was  professional counselling  any help.  The majority  who either declined the insistently offered 'treatment',  or else  submitted, were  all followed up.   The result  was they were discovered months and years later to be suffering badly, compared to a  non-counselled  matched cohort.

Hi @newborn
This is the exact problem with the NHS, NHS Trusts and even some support organisations (some of which are funded by profit making companies)
In order to follow, understand and put in to practice the new discoveries  from science regarding a wide range of complex medical and neurological issues these so called medical professions need to move on with the research, and change their training and qualification standards to match the new knowledge. This may require working as part of a multi discipline team to increase the levels of understanding and awareness, and some professions may have to take a lesser role in the way the work should be done.
So this is all about money as you describe as the issues for priests, and their cult followers, we have various support programs an their program providers whose career is based on marketing a program, which is falsely calimed to help those with a specific set of issues, (In relation to my disability which is the cause of dyslexia symptom, there is the Orton Gillingham organisation which funds the International dyslexia association and the British Dyslexia Association. Orton gillingham makes its money from selling, marketing it s program and selling licences to those who use their program as the basis of other programs. The Orton Gillingham program is based on using Phonics. The majoiryt of those identified as being dyslexic have the Temporal Type of Auditory Processing Disorder as the underlying cause of their dyslexia symptom. Those who have the Temproal type of Auditory Processing Disorder have problem processing the gaps between sounds which can include the gaps between words in rapid speech. And they are cognitively not able to use phonics or phonetically sound oud new  words from text. 
So this is about an industry selling a program that does not work for those it claims, and being in denial that a clinically diagnosed disability exists. All about not changing careers, and maintaining high levels of incompetent ignorance tin order to make money.

newborn

Dolfrog  i can't use the search option on Scope, can other people?
The reason i ask is it would be good if you  could set up a post for anyone  else  with the variant you have, or even with the general  information you have.

Its clear you have educated yourself  beyond the usual suspect  professionals, so  newcomers need a way to communicate  with you and any others  who are experts by both experience and deep research 

P.s. dolfrog what you post is valuable and it would be a shame if anyone is shut out from reading  it, just because  you forgot to break up the chunks of text.   I'm full of admiration you deal so well with  the drawbacks of your condition,  and l do realise that while you are writing, it may not be the time to stop and think of inserting gaps.

Please  could you do it afterwards, just before you post?  It doesn't  matter  if  the  gaps are conventional  punctuation,  just as long as there are no more than , say,  about  half a dozen lines.

Scope do you know why the search option just triggers a warning the site is not secure,  which l assume is improbable.? 

dolfrog

Hi @newborn

Until I was asked by the Medical Research Council asked me to help provide support for those who may participated in their research program regarding my disability, I was not aware that I could read and understand research papers. The researchers sent me copies of their research which back then took me months to read, learning the terminology, still can not pronounce the words they use that well if at all.

I discovered that I tend to learn about and understand the big picture, and see how the various bits of information fit together, which I have been doing for most of my life, which I thought everyone else did as well. It was only when i began to read about the various different learning styles we human have that I began to understand how different I am to the majority. I am primarily a visual - spatial learner, were as most others tend to be auditory- sequential learners. 

Coping with my dyslexia issues is for me about checking my spelling, or looking for the underlined spelling errors while typing, I can still miss out words or phrases which thee technology does not pick up lol.

I have some posts in the Scope Groups section 
"Talk about specific conditions" and more specifically 
"Visual and hearing impairments" where I have  posted some threads regarding Auditory Processing Disorders 

I have over the years complied quite a few online research paper collections, unfortunately the web site I most preferred was closed last March CiteULike which has multiple online research paper sharing libraries many set up by leading UK researchers.

I managed to download the lists of many of the CiteULike research groups research paper lists which only list the paper title and the Io research paper link. I have use some of these listed to set up a new set of collections at Zotero at 
https://www.zotero.org/groups/2302570/auditory_processing_disorder_apd/items/collectionKey/B8NYWU3Y 
and I have an Evernote web page which includes link to some of the subgroups of research papers I have created at Zotero at 
 https://www.evernote.com/shard/s329/sh/f6711c86-87ce-4f2a-a6dc-a7df6fadcf2b/71d49aa42e81f7338d2812d10974e445  

While I was reading the research from the medical research council, an online friend from the USA was trying to create a Wikipedia article regarding our disability Auditory processing Disorder, and as a result i became a Wikipedia editor, I was not really that good at editing the words that most see in an article more providing links to support research, or finding research which could improve the article content. There were a number of articles which took my interest for a variety of reasons, and I have listed some of my PubMed research paper collections on my Wikipedia user page at 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Dolfrog 

and I also came across the Pearltrees bookmark web site where I have created a few research paper collectionsusing a few graphic to help me work around my collections this is at 
https://www.pearltrees.com/dolfrog 

I hope this helps some how

newborn

Wow. Do you  think  you are an exceptional  achiever within your disability  subset?  You describe discovering how unusual your  memory processes are, but you seem to suggest   what you have done was  automatically  helped by having the rare condition,.   

You don't  seem to  credit yourself necessarily, for your remarkable individual ability and/or  exceptional hard work.

To an outside onlooker,  it seems to be as if someone who happens to have only one arm sets about the task of mountain  climbing, then says he had an unusual advantage,  because that single arm had become remarkably strong. 

   As you say, research papers make no concession  to being accessible to  lay readers.     (As a matter of fact, I don't believe it is really acceptable to write in an inpenetrable style.   Jargon can conceal sloppiness. )

P.s. thanks for the spacing.   

P.p.s   I don't know  your private  circumstances,  but it  would help if someone did proof reading for you.   As you observe, spell check does have limits!  There needs to be a matching service,  because  that would be a perfect fit for someone  who has a  secretarial  or similar  background  but now  is disabled.   Even without leaving their bed,  they might welcome some useful work, even unpaid.  

dolfrog

Hi @newborn

I am really only an information collector and information distributor. I am sure many others can do this as well.

My main aim is to get the understanding and support my family need on a life long basis, our three sons and my wife all have a clinical diagnosis of having one or more types of Auditory Processing Disorder, I am supposedly the clever one in our the family who needs to find the information to explain our disability to others, 

I can see that previous generation of of our families had undiagnosed types of of our disability, which is more about the lack of the current medical research technology of the last decade or so. And if the researchers and various medical professions from various related areas of research were to use the same terminology to explain the exact same issues there would by now, be a greater awareness of our disability. 

As you mentioned they use their own JARGON to hide their ignorance and protect their incomes. 

HollyGCat

So tomorrow is an assessment day with crisis team and psychiatrist...who doesn’t know I’ve cut my tablets right down. 

Trying to get husband a break from me. The CPTS fairy hit home! Thanks JJ. 

I am a bit confused by the thread, is the auditory processing a part of CPTS? Or a co-morbid? Sorry it’s my lack of knowledge. 

I don’t know if it helps but the app headspace is offering two months free and if you put in TUBE where you are prompted. It’s a mediation app, thought I’d  listen to you all and have a go...it was on last weeks Martin Lewis email, but if U just downloaded app should allow. I think it’s normally about £90 a year. 

dolfrog

HollyGCat said:

So tomorrow is an assessment day with crisis team and psychiatrist...who doesn’t know I’ve cut my tablets right down. 

Trying to get husband a break from me. The CPTS fairy hit home! Thanks JJ. 

I am a bit confused by the thread, is the auditory processing a part of CPTS? Or a co-morbid? Sorry it’s my lack of knowledge. 

Hi @HollyGCat
I will try to explain.
if you go back to when I posted some research paper links about over a week ago, you may have noticed this paper "Complex posttraumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) following captivity: a 24-year longitudinal study" and from that paper which is at 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6541897/ the introduction says:-

""Since the establishment of the Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) diagnosis, it has been argued that exposure to prolonged trauma is antecedent to more severe, varied and complex posttraumatic manifestations (e.g. Gilbar, Hyland, Cloitre, & Dekel, 2018). 

Recently, the World Health Organization (WHO) International Classification of Diseases, 11th version (ICD-11), has proposed including two distinct trauma-related diagnoses for PTSD and complex PTSD (CPTSD) (Maercker et al., 2013), which have been included in the draft version of the ICD-11. 

The ICD-11 model of PTSD encompasses three clusters: 

(1) re-experiencing, 

(2) avoidance and 

(3) sense of threat, 

while CPTSD comprises the three clusters of PTSD as well as an additional three clusters of disordered self-organization: 

(1) affect dysregulation, 

(2) negative self-concept 

and (3) interpersonal problems (Cloitre, Garvert, Brewin, Bryant, & Maercker, 2013). 

The proposal additionally states that repeated exposure to traumatic stressors like childhood abuse, domestic violence, genocide or torture is a risk factor for the development of self-regulation problems characteristic of CPTSD (Cloitre et al., 2013). 

These two ‘sibling disorders’ were formulated to improve the specificity of each disorder’s unique characteristics. 

Specifically, important for management and treatment, is a formulation of diagnoses comprised of a limited number of symptoms closely related to clinicians’ mental health taxonomies (Brewin et al., 2017).""

As you may have noticed I have mentioned that I have had life long Auditory Processing Disorder, a listening disability, which was not identified by any researchers until the 1950s in the USA, and has only become recognised in other countries in more recent times especially in the 1990s. So for the first 40 years of my life no one in the UK even began to understand the complex nature of my listening disability. It was only when our eldest son was one of the first children in the UK to be diagnosed as having an Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) back in the late 1990s that when I was doing the research to try to help him, that iI found out what APD was, and I soon discovered that I had been living with all of my life. 

Around the same time I began to have problems with my employers who were aware that I was dyslexic, but did not like it when i began to explain the underlying causes of my dyslexia symptom, my APD. this lead to my employers closing our local branch to make me redundant, all the other staff were relocated to other branches to get rid of me so that they could avoid any legal proceeding regarding disability discrimination under the 2005 Discrimination Act.

I was told by a psychologist, who specialises in helping those who have listening problems, that my experiences were causing me Post Traumatic Stress. So it was not the Auditory Processing Disorder that caused my Post Traumatic Stress, but more the history of disability victimisation from childhood while in the education system, and by my employers and peers in adult life.

And currently this continues with the incompetence of UK Audiology professions (there are 3 in the UK) especially those who work for the NHS, who are not adequately trained and qualified to assess and diagnose the 4 types of Auditory Processing Disorders. And I am aware of the so called inter profession politics and career manipulating that causes this professional negligence. Which only increases my stress levels. 

HollyGCat

dolfrog said:

HollyGCat said:

So tomorrow is an assessment day with crisis team and psychiatrist...who doesn’t know I’ve cut my tablets right down. 

Trying to get husband a break from me. The CPTS fairy hit home! Thanks JJ. 

I am a bit confused by the thread, is the auditory processing a part of CPTS? Or a co-morbid? Sorry it’s my lack of knowledge. 

Hi @HollyGCat
I will try to explain.
if you go back to when I posted some research paper links about over a week ago,

I was told by a psychologist, who specialises in helping those who have listening problems, that my experiences were causing me Post Traumatic Stress. So it was not the Auditory Processing Disorder that caused my Post Traumatic Stress, but more the history of disability victimisation from childhood while in the education system, and by my employers and peers in adult life

Thank you. The above paragraph has cleared up my confusion. I don’t have the concentration due to reduced cognitive functioning or motivation to read every research paper, but the above is quite simplistic to follow. My confusion was that one was a symptom of the other but the other way around to what it is. 

newborn

@dolfrog,  did you get legal advice at the time,?  It sounds  a lot like diiscrimination if every  other employee was retained,  but the disabled  one was singled  out for redundancy,.

Than goodness you came along in time to  discover and collate information,  so you are well armed to break the discrimination  chain going through  generations  of your, and your wife's  families. 

But, there is no point anyone wasting time and money on so-called  cptsd treatment for childhood traumatic response. 

The analogy  is exactly  equal with doctors  who,  persistently,  century  after century,  'treated ' every illness by either opening  veins or applying leeches, because they  (and therefore their patients,  )   were all convinced  that getting rid of  'surplus' blood was a good treatment.  

There is N O treatment for Cptsd. 
(Apart from close loving kindly relationships and self help  guided by radically up to date well informed  peers, such as the crappy childhood fairy) 

Exactly the same way blood letting was N E V E R a treatment,  despite every doctor charging a fee to do it,
(and despite  the patients being convinced, even as they died from weakness and blood loss)  Doctors  during  those centuries  had nothing much else to offer. 

(Herbalists or wise women may have had one or two effective treatments in some cases, but controlled trials were far in the future.  Right back to the  misogynist monster Freud,  the mental illness industry has not submitted  to acceptable control  trial  They and the pharmaceutical  industry  have virtually  no evidence that anything they do is an effective  treatment. 

 See upthread  reference  to the recent follow  up on the New York mass 'therapy ' statistics,  showing  'trauma treatment' made people  worse.  Just like blood letting would have done)

Any temporary  mood uplift ascribed  to chemicals or mental  illness 'treatment' might be tested against  a doctor prescribing  for matching control groups of patients,  either a new miracle  treatment of placebo,  or prescribing an organised  friendly group of trained  cheer-up volunteers, ideally  recovered peer group,    to accompany  the patient out to bingo, burgers or a nature walk....

or prescribing  friendly regular  contact with people who  actually  care if the patient  is alive or dead.

Just as any recovery ascribed to draining the patients' blood could have been, but wasn't,  checked against a control group allowed to keep their blood, but given close personal attention by a professional,  plus a placebo miraculous potion,  a herbal treatment, or a  regular spoonful of brandy disguised as a medicine. 

P.S. dolfrog you will know of the recent placebo revolution,  i.e. that in many cases it works despite patients knowing  it is a placebo.   

And the very old but still valid Phillips light bulb results,  showing  every intervention raised productivity., because  workers appreciated  the evidence  managers were paying  attention  to them and cared for their well being. 

(They had multiple identical factories,  so they introduced music,  found workers seemed happier and more productive,  therefore introduced it everywhere.   At first  it worked, but later, production reduced again,  so they turned off music in one, repainted the walls in another, and left the rest unchanged.  It turned out the workers were merely responding to every change as a sign that management  weren't ignoring them.)

Chloe_Alumni

Hi @newborn, the search function is currently been edited, but should be up and running again shortly!

I really hope your assessment goes okay @HollyGCat, please do let us know and we'll be here if you need anything.

SurvivingTara

Here`s hoping Holly G Cat today`s assesment was positive for your walking forwards. Really hoping for you.

We are in charge of our healing process, it`s the body/mind that heals and we know this deep down, not someone else.

It is only us who can do it, with support/understanding.

Partner is your supporter, why do you need to get him a break from you as you are?

Does he say he needs a break from you???

Hang in there Holly G Cat.....Please

dolfrog

newborn said:

@dolfrog,  did you get legal advice at the time,?  It sounds  a lot like diiscrimination if every  other employee was retained,  but the disabled  one was singled  out for redundancy,.

Than goodness you came along in time to  discover and collate information,  so you are well armed to break the discrimination  chain going through  generations  of your, and your wife's  families. 

P.S. dolfrog you will know of the recent placebo revolution,  i.e. that in many cases it works despite patients knowing  it is a placebo.   

Hi @newborn

I was too stressed out at the time, and on tranquiliser  medication just before the local branch closed and  for months afterwards, It was the disability adviser who had been helping while I was having problems with my employers in the work place  in the years before who explained it all to me. Which was more a few months before the 2005 discrimination act became law. 

Back then I was not aware of the real nature of disability discrimination, although I had been a victim of it all of my life. It was as if it was way of life for my family. 

The placebo effect is  how many so called support programs work, not the programs itself, which is why in gold standard Randomised Control Trials there is at least one group that only experiences the placebo effect to compare with the groups who are trying out the program, therapy,  or medication.

There are many research trials which include very small trial groups which are use to help market therapy options and those included in the trial are those expected to benefit from the therapy or medication prior to the research being carried out. And in some instances they widen the definition of the specific condition or set of issues, so as to include those who are better able to benefit from the particular therapy or program
(In the case of dyslexia some program therapy research was widened to include what are now called "Garden Variety Poor Readers" who do not have any of the underlying cognitive conditions that can cause the dyslexia symptom)

SurvivingTara

Dolfrog, your last post, it feels like discrimination at its best you experienced. Know the feeling. Seems like, having to explain all the time, about who you are and your uniqueness, and style of learning. To have to almost justify things about yourself, tiring. Instead of being accepted, and left alone. People are forced to read and write, to try to make us fit into a system. Your vulnerability seems to have been played on, and then the pressure and being worn down, with having to constantly explain about you and how you have been treated or not accepted, even bullied, forces us into taking medication. Soo sad this system and for some therein. Empathize here. You are ok, unique and a good enough human being. The trouble is (and why many suffering)we as a nation have too much in the head/ academic stuff, and expected to do it,  not enough connection and unconditional acceptance, the way we are, the just being with people, we seem to have to keep proving we are ok, by dancing to some others drum..

newborn

Dolfrog...How shocking.   I knew purported  trials are rigged, not least because there is  wrongly no obligation to publish  every one, so if two attempts  show disastrous  results, but another by fluke produces more favourable  'findings ', guess what is publicised and gets published  in Nature  (or similar )

Including  what you call 'garden' poor  learners is flat out fraud.   But who except  you would plough doggedly  through the jargon and  spot it?    

HollyGCat

Badly, I fought but I was marginalised. Then home for me to lose it. Massive row. Still going at 6 AM.  Marriage crumbling. Managed with reduced pills but gave up when stuff got ugly. High asa kite now. Chaos is my middle name. I’m nothing. I don’t sit in society. I’ve been expelled. Yes feeling a bit sorry for myself. Judge if you must. I’m past caring about anything. I’ve got no future. It’s a living hell. People like me don’t get to be happy