A life not worth living

DenceNucliaAtom

A life not worth living 

I can't see a future, 

and can't deal with the past.

My life has no meaning, 

and it's moving way to fast.

I can't hold on much longer, 

and I feel like ive lost my grip.

I pull myself together, 

only to find myself slip.

Ive only got one conclusion, 

and it keeps running through my head,

or maybe it's just an illusion, 

that's better of not said.

I no it sounds illogical, 

and something I would regret.

Why is it so hard? 

why can't I just forget!.....

Lasian_Scope

You are a member of our community and we appreciate you.

 

If you are having thoughts of suicide, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at [email protected]

 

You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself:

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/how-can-i-help-myself/

 

If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.

thespiceman

Hello @DenceNucliaAtom I have just seen this.  I am sorry you are feeling like this.  Pleased to meet you..  By way I am not a counsellor or an advisor.  A friendly considerate person who has been there and have had these emotions and feelings.  I would if I suggest contact the organisations above.  I know it is hard to speak about what is hurting you.  This is a message of support and hope and pray you can find some comfort to try to discuss the important matters that are deep inside.  I understand that.    All our community try and support each other and are here to listen.. I know I speak about what is hurting me.  This is not about me but you.  I hope to speak to you soon if you want to.  Take care 

iza

Hi @DenceNucliaAtom, 

Welcome to the community. My colleges above look at your poem assuming that you are having bad thought about ending life. 
I just want to say that your poem is great. 
Who ask questions in live will get answers to them. 
Keep going, keep  asking, write and get out what is in your heart. 
You are not alone. 

Good_Man

Hiya DNA,
What a great poem, I feel your pain through those words. You have a wonderful way of expressing the unsaid, it's brilliant. Well done.

Can I be presumptious and offer you a quote:
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

feir

i can relate to that.

i actually had severe memory loss for most of my life before i got my chronic pain condition and the pain brought my memories back. it was better not having a memory.

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DenceNucliaAtom

Thank you everyone for your replies! Ive managed to make some positive progress today. One step closer in a long line of hoops and a series of cogs all being aligned in the right direction to finally successfully make even the slightest bit of long term progress.  all your comments help to keep pushing, so thank you.

thespiceman

Hello @DenceNucliaAtom How are you?  Thank you for kind words.  I hope and pray you take care.  Remember take small steps we are here to listen.  Give you support as much as we can.  I personally speaking have bad days and take great joy and a lift from the people on this community.  Lovely to talk to you take care.

Topkitten

This was a post I made some time ago. Sometimes it is easier to use poetry to describe things rather than words.

*********************************************************************************************

I used to write a fair amount of poetry. Mostly either bright and cheerful or vengeful but over time it got shorter and darker so I write little these days, This is a good example of why I stopped writing.

I Wish

 

I wish I had freedom instead of the chain

I wish I had comfort instead of the drain

I wish I was happy but unhappiness came

 

I wish I was full of joy, not of disdain

I wish I had hope but instead it was slain

I wish I had meaning, it burnt in the flame

 

I wish I had sunshine instead of the rain

I wish I had thoughts, all I have's a dead brain

I wish I could change things and not just my name

 

I wish I had someone but no one will claim

I wish I had life but instead I have pain

And it is only me that's most likely to blame

 

*********************************************************************************************

Sometimes struggling from day to day is the best we can do.

TK

sleepy1

Hi DNA, love your poem and you certainly have a gift with words.....So IMO your life is well worth living.

I have had many things happen to me in the past which I would very much like to forget but have also been lucky enough to have some really good things happen along the way that I cherish.  It may sound a bit cheesy but I think you have to look at life as an adventure and even when bad things happen to you it is your life experiences that define you as a human being. We all try to find our own way of coping from what we have learnt along the way.  Your still with us so you must have a coping strategy........Stick with it and soak up all the love that is sent your way.

Hugs Rosie 

Ktmexc250

Someone told me once..when i was in that dark, deep hole..find a box, put all the c**p, horrible feelings and bad stuff that other people have done to you in the box, put on the lid then sit on the box and laugh! I actually did this then burnt the box in a type a funeral.. i gave all that stuff back. It was fab. I felt lighter and made a decision to stop listening to that little voice that said "it's your fault". It's not your fault. You have probably made some bad choices, who hasn't? Learn from them. I found a good book which may help..Dpression, curse of the strong. Have a clear out, emotionally. Physically..
I still doubt myself but have to shake up and sort it. Smile, you are not alone.xx

Han_Solo

I am so glad that you found your way here. The people on here are impressive, and I hope you take on their words of encouragement and advice.

By the way, despite the sadness of the poem, it was very good. You have a clear talent and I hope you take it further.

Is there any chance you can do one about your happiest memory? 

Take care

janejr

DenceNucliaAtom hi my name is Jane your poem really moved me. Have felt the exact same myself many times. Fairly new to being disabled and can't help looking back to how life has  changed.I was really fit , slim , working and happy. Used to be the life and soul , bubbley out going. I must stop looking back though as it makes me worse. This is now and the new me gotta try new ways of being happy. I don't mind the struggling to do things but upset at having to ask for help all the time. I think my pain gets me down the most. Glad your found scope as we all on here to help each other out . Especially if your down and in the dark place we all go at times. Have you got any more poems you could post. I will look out for you on here and just messaged me if you fancy a chat