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Disability benefits help!!

Hi Everyone,

I currently am in receipt of ESA Support group, PIP enhanced for both care and mobility. My boyfriend who doesn’t live with me is my carer but works full time. I’m moving out of my parents home for medical reasons in regards to safety (I can’t get up and down the stairs myself so need everything to be on one level) My boyfriend will not be living with me but he will need to stay over 4-5 nights a week because I need someone there over night. He works during the day and he comes over after work to prepare my dinners and my meals for the next day. I will be relying on his help. He lives at my parents home because we can’t afford to live together and he needs a few nights away for respite. I’m worried that this will be classed as living together and I will lose my ESA and housing benefit. I will rely on this for my rent and bills. He doesn’t pay anything to me at all as he has to pay rent and bills where he’s staying. My questions are how many nights can my boyfriend/carer stay without any effect to my benefits? Thanks for any info. Xx


  • vijay
    vijay Member Posts: 18 Connected
    Hi thy will class that living together no mater wot cuz his with u the nights 
  • louisebxx
    louisebxx Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Even if he’s caring for me and paying rent and bills elsewhere? 
  • vijay
    vijay Member Posts: 18 Connected
    Yes becuz most days his with u and plus his working classed has income coming in 
  • louisebxx
    louisebxx Member Posts: 7 Listener
    I’m confused. So my carer can’t stay a few nights to care for my needs because he’s my partner even though I need overnight night care as per my PIP claim. I was awarded points for this reason. He pays rent where his living and pays nothing to me because he’s not living with me because as I said we can’t afford it and he needs his own space as I need a lot of care. Even single parents without any care needs can have their partner stay 2-3nights a week. It doesn’t sound fair at all? Are you sure? 
  • Matilda
    Matilda Member Posts: 2,610 Disability Gamechanger

    I think a benefits expert should answer this.  I hope that an adviser from @BenefitsTrainingCo will see your post.
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @louisebxx

    Have you spoke with scopes benefits advisors? 

    I really feel your pain and anger.
    And hope somene from the community can help you.
    Good luck
  • louisebxx
    louisebxx Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Thank you Matilda :) Its so confusing. I’ll reiterate the facts just so it’s clearer to read without my babble

    - I am moving out of my parents home as it’s not fit for my needs. I need everyone on one level as per my occupational house therapist reported.
    - my boyfriend is my carer as listed on my PIP, housing forms. My PIP award is enhanced for both mobility and Care and it states that I need care for all day needs and medication supervision. I have been award a one bedroom flat and I told my occupational housing therapist that my boyfriend stays over 4-5nights to care for me over night and that he’d sleep in the lounge just as he does at my parents.  
    - He pays rent at another address where he stays when not with me. He works full time so he cares for me in the evenings and weekends and stays 4-5 nights depending on how bad I am. 

    - I am moving into a mobility B property. He doesn’t pay anything me at all. He has dinners when he stays and if he cooks for me otherwise he eats at home or at work. None of his post will come to my address and he’ll only bring clothes and toiletries when staying. 

    Anything else needed just ask. 
  • louisebxx
    louisebxx Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Thank you Bevt. It’s so frustrating. I can’t even limit the time his with me because I need his help for everything. He pays my bills from my account, goes to the ATM, washes me, helps me on and off the toilet and so much more plus I wouldn’t trust anyone to do that except for him and my parents xx
  • Lasian_Alumni
    Lasian_Alumni Member Posts: 659 Pioneering
    Hi @louisebxx

    Advice now has some useful information about what counts as living together - it's at the start of part 2.

    Also, our "ask a benefits advisor" category has now closed and although BenefitsTrainingCo will be answering posts as much as they're able to, they may need some time or may not be able to comment.

    I hope this helps, let me know if you have any questions!
  • louisebxx
    louisebxx Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Thank you. I’ll read that. Hopefully they will get around to answering my post but do understand as I can only imagine how busy they are. Thanks again xx
  • CockneyRebel
    CockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,217 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi louiseb

    There is no definative answer, it will be up to a decision maker however you might find the following links useful




    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • duckett123
    duckett123 Member Posts: 81 Courageous
    they may  class as living together if they do they may pay you visit but don't worry if your partner as no cloths stored there and it looks like you live on your own you should be fine they will check poll tax names on rent book everything so be prepaired.
  • louisebxx
    louisebxx Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Thanks for the info I’ll have a look tonight x


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