A very unwanted opinion! — Scope | Disability forum
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A very unwanted opinion!

Zec Richardson
Zec Richardson Member Posts: 152 Pioneering
Hi all, I haven't been on here for a long while but I need to offload.
I have had a very rough few days and on Sunday visitors turned up.
By now I had already had enough for one day. My father in law said he had started smoking again and concerned I asked why as he is recently diagnosed with COPD.
The reply shook me! "You are doing exactly the same thing"
Now I have been told of their view that I shouldn't be taking so many pain meds because it can't be good for me.
I am virtually housebound, I am in pain 24/7 and a wheelchair user due to pain and dodgy legs and also because of damaged shoulders meaning I can't use crutches.
I knew I was on the verge of reacting badly and so I went to my bedroom to try and stop the steam pouring from my ears!
Unfortunately he thought it was a good idea to come in with "did I upset you?"
I take no pride in the fact that I became rather growly and did what people hate and got very truthful.
I am shaken that people close to me have the opinion that I must be taking the meds but could go without them, that I am taking them because I am addicted or doing it recreationaly because comparing it to smoking (which I appreciate is an addiction) is disgusting.
Of course I am wrong to react and have over reacted.
Why do people judge us for needing pain medication, they wouldn't do the same to a diabetic who needs insulin.
Anyway, I needed to offload somewhere private as I am still upset that family think this way about me, they clearly assume that I have a choice and I am choosing to sit here day in and day out throwing pills and oramorph down my neck.

Comments

  • CockneyRebel
    CockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,216 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Zec Richardson

    You are welcome to off load here any time and Iam sure that many of our community can relate. For my part I am prescribed 6 hours oxygen per day along with a double hit nebuliser, what do I get " Are you on that again? 
    Like I have a choice. To paraphrase a famous writer " To breath or not to breath that is the question "
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,676 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Zec Richardson
    Firstly can I just say how lovely it is to see you here! I have thought about you a lot and you have been missed!!
    Secondly I am sorry to hear you havent had a great time, it can be really tough to deal with friends or family members who don't understand what you are going through.
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • Roddy
    Roddy Member Posts: 398 Pioneering
    Hi @Zec Richardson,

    I can understand you entirely, as it is not easy to bite ones tongue to stop yourself blowing your top! It's only natural and most people do it at some point. There's also the old saying: "we can choose our friends, but we are stuck with our family" and it is so often the case that family members disagree about things and feel that they have the right to say what they want...    
  • jokar100
    jokar100 Member Posts: 3 Listener
    It’s alwas the same about pain if they can’t see what it’s doing to you they don’t think it’s bad enough, my meds are Dihydrocodeine and brufen and nortryptaline at night make me feel really sick most of the time but your pills are much more than mine so I’m imagining how you feel When you can’t do something about your health it’s really annoying that others take the proverbial and think it’s ok to keep abusing theirs when it happen s in front of you it’s really annoying. Vent away it helps take care 
  • Jean Eveleigh
    Jean Eveleigh Member Posts: 163 Pioneering
    I can also sympathise as I have people who know me who feel that I should not be taking my prescribed pain medication as they have a better idea of what would work for me - they feel my refusal to take their advise is an affront to them rather than a justifiable want/need to stick with what I know helps me.

    One of the other commentators said you cannot choose your family and while that is rue you can choose to have them in your life or not so maybe tell them they can come as long as they can keep their opinions on your health management to their selves unless they can support you, the other option would be to tell them you no longer wish to see them if they cannot support you; the choice is entirely yours.
  • deb74
    deb74 Member Posts: 777 Pioneering
    if we are in pain we don't have much choice where painkillers are concerned. I used to take lots of high strength painkillers then I decided to stop taking them and try alternatives like a tense machine but I have had to go back on painkillers now as the alternative therapies aren't working anymore.
  • Zec Richardson
    Zec Richardson Member Posts: 152 Pioneering
    I try to utilise as many ways of coping like meditation, TENS, distraction with music, but they only help so much.
    I have said I don't want to see them for a while, I need to have some time before having to explain which will I guess only frustrate me.
  • Roddy
    Roddy Member Posts: 398 Pioneering
    The additional problem with any pain, is that nobody else can experience it except for us as individuals. Each persons threshold of pain is different from one person to another. There also some kinds of pain which even Morphine for example cannot mask, whereas some people only require a couple of Paracetamol to ease their discomfort... 
  • Waylay
    Waylay Member Posts: 971 Pioneering
    edited April 2019
    Last time I saw my Mum, on the first day I got out a tramadol and was about to take it when she said, "Do you really need to take that?"

    A variety of responses went through my head as I tried to keep my temper from boiling over: "Actually, I take them for sh*ts and giggles. I get paid 1.50 for every one I take. I'm actually an alien and they keep me looking human so you don't run screaming. I do it just to p*** you off. I can't deal with your company without opioids...." In the end I took it and said, "Yes", then returned to doing my stretches. She stood there for a moment and then walked away. Sometimes a one word answer works well.
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,946 Disability Gamechanger
    Please refrain from swearing as the community is accessible to all and we do have young readers.
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • Zec Richardson
    Zec Richardson Member Posts: 152 Pioneering
    Waylay said:
    Last time I saw my Mum, on the first day I got out a tramadol and was about to take it when she said, "Do you really need to take that?"

    A variety of responses went through my head as I tried to keep my temper from boiling over: "Actually, I take them for sh*ts and giggles. I get paid 1.50 for every one I take. I'm actually an alien and they keep me looking human so you don't run screaming. I do it just to p*** you off. I can't deal with your company without opioids...." In the end I took it and said, "Yes", then returned to doing my stretches. She stood there for a moment and then walked away. Sometimes a one word answer works well.
    Oh damn, that made me laugh. Thank you a very much needed laugh!

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