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Are you good at throwing stuff out?

66Mustang
66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,598 Disability Gamechanger
I've been having a tidy up recently but I find it hard to throw stuff away. I've gone through all the cupboards and drawers and have thrown away about 1 bin bag full. I always think I might need something so keep it just in case. Either that or something that is not particularly useful I will want to keep as it is a reminder of the past (school exercise books for example).

I need to make more room. Does anyone have any tips for clearing out? Should I be really "brutal" or am I right to keep sentimental stuff?

Are you good at throwing stuff away or you a hoarder like me?

Comments

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,290 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm great at throwing stuff out as I had to pay £380 when I moved for all my ex rubbish from the garage,  shed and house to be cleared 

    I have a rule now when clearing out if I haven't worn it or used it since last time I cleared out then it goes 

    I usually sort out as season changes eg spring and winter 
    Here to help with my experience in hunan resources and employment rights 
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,305 Disability Gamechanger
    I have a golden rule if you haven't used it for 6 months then you don't need it, obviously there are exceptions e.g your xmas tree and decs.
    Ten years ago we downsized our home dramatically and threw literally skip loads of stuff out.
    I am a person with epilepsy not an epileptic, my illness doesn't define me.
  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Posts: 4,595 Disability Gamechanger
    I am terrible its hard for me to throw stuff out but I did manage to do it last year 
  • leeCal
    leeCal Member Posts: 4,245 Disability Gamechanger
    Keeping too much stuff can ruin your home life and have a very detrimental effect on your mental health, so being brutal about keeping your house clear is very important. 

    I try to remember how awful hoarding can be and I have a reasonably regular purge.

    i do keep some memorabilia in a trunk, tidy and safe, but I could do better generally. There’s always room for improvement...if it’s not full of stuff that is!
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 10,560 Disability Gamechanger
    I have a small park home, so there's no room for a lot of stuff. Someone should tell my son, who has taken over my spare bedroom with boxes of books, a stacking bookcase full of books, a spare dog crate, & dog bed! I can hardly move in there.
    Yes, I keep sentimental stuff, but I haven't got a lot. I used to keep things 'just in case,' but haven't got the room for it now.
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,290 Disability Gamechanger
    The problem has been getting rid of stuff with charity shops not being open 

    I hate just putting them in the bin but my wardrobe top 7s full of stuff waiting to get to charity 
    Here to help with my experience in hunan resources and employment rights 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,598 Disability Gamechanger
    edited May 12
    Thank you for all the replies. It sounds like I need to be a bit stricter with throwing stuff out!

    I think the issue I have is that I remember the history behind something and don't want to throw it away, even if it is of no use.

    A perfect example is in my drawer I have a beer bottle from The Gambia. It is totally useless, and quite large so gets in the way, yet where it comes from is special to me. I guess I need to learn that it's the memories that are special and not random objects.
  • vikingqueen
    vikingqueen Member Posts: 548 Pioneering
        The fact I have a little ornament on my bedroom drawers that my son made as nursery school is testament to how long I keep stuff for... He's nearly 41!! Anything else I can part with once it is no longer useful but when it comes to my children I kept everything. Now it's the turn of my grandchildren to fill my home full of things made with love  <3
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,598 Disability Gamechanger
        The fact I have a little ornament on my bedroom drawers that my son made as nursery school is testament to how long I keep stuff for... He's nearly 41!! Anything else I can part with once it is no longer useful but when it comes to my children I kept everything. Now it's the turn of my grandchildren to fill my home full of things made with love  <3
    I don't have children but am close to my family and anything that was given to me by a family member is similar, I don't want to throw it away - I can easily throw stuff away that I bought myself but anything from a family member is really hard to throw out!
  • leeCal
    leeCal Member Posts: 4,245 Disability Gamechanger
    edited May 12
    Someone once said that the difference between us and animals is that we accessorise!

    i think maybe we hoard too, far more than say the lyre bird for example. 

    🤣
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,929 Disability Gamechanger
    I openly admit that I'm absolutely terrible with keeping stuff, even if it has the smallest meaning behind it, then i'm likely to keep it. I know I need to be a bit more ruthless :lol:
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,598 Disability Gamechanger
    @Ami2301 It’s nice to hear I’m not the only one!!
  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,645 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm generally pretty good at throwing stuff out...I like that sense of a 'fresh start' on bin day each week...sad I know!  :D 

    Also had to clear out my grandparents hoard after one died and the other had to be quickly moved into sheltered accommodation.  I couldn't understand how so much could be accumulated at the time!  (My views have changed since lol.)

    But I find throwing away boxes really difficult...  Even massive boxes for vacuum cleaners etc.  Initially it's a warranty thing, but after the first year, it's not like I'm ever going to repack it!  I'm sure I still have boxes for electrical items that have long since broken and been discarded themselves.  Trouble is I only have a tiny studio flat (wasn't able to move in the end, for anyone following my story) so I just don't have the storage space for all these boxes.  Two weeks ago I had a large item delivered, the box was too big to keep anywhere so I had to put it straight in the recycling...yep, you've guessed it, I needed to return it a few days later and couldn't!  Sods law eh...


    In the same vane, my OCD affects what I can and can't throw out...I feel a huge sense of responsibility for anything that goes into landfill*.  Particularly anything like hard plastic that won't rot, and things like batteries that cause contamination.  I used to save these things up and take to the dump regularly, but Covid has made that impossible for me.  Dumps are now open again but you have to commit to a specific time slot which I can't do.  There are a few 'bring banks' around for small electricals but nothing for hard plastics sadly.  And although most supermarkets have battery banks, I'm not sure how to logistically use them now as they're always by the exits since one-way systems came in!  Am I expected to carry the batteries round the store first?  Will they set the alarms off as I walk in?  I wish they'd just leave them outside with the other banks for glass etc!

    You mentioned the bottle in the drawer...if it's genuinely something of value to you, why not display it on a shelf of something?  Keeps it out of the way but also means you've still got it to keep.

    *My local council claims that it doesn't use landfill anymore, and that our residual waste all gets incinerated at a power station...  If that's true, I feel a bit less responsibility...but can I believe them?
  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Member Posts: 1,985 Pioneering
    Well I have arguments over this with my daughter and oldest son, they are always throwing things away that I would of used and I end up replacing it. So no point. It drives me crazy 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,598 Disability Gamechanger
    @OverlyAnxious interesting, I also keep boxes because of warranty, then after that I keep them in case the thing is worth selling, but thinking about it, I do have boxes for stuff that is in the bin by now.

    It's not even that the bottle is particularly attractive or valuable to me, it is just a standard beer from Africa but one that you can't get here. The beer was a gift someone brought me back so for some reason I feel the need to keep the bottle, even though the memories around the bottle are what matter!

    Just to update the thread I have managed another bin bag full so I am getting there :D 


  • Two
    Two Member Posts: 1 Listener
    edited May 21
    I highly recommend you get Marie Kondo's book out of the library and work through that. I spent years harbouring those 'just in case' items etc. The book helped me change my mindset completely and allowed me to give myself permission to throw out stuff I really didn't need in my life. 
    One big tip NEVER start any clear-out with sentimental stuff you'll want to keep everything. 
    Have you considered taking a photo of the bottle and keeping that instead? 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,598 Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks for the tips, @Two

    I hadn't heard of Marie Kondo before but she sounds interesting. I like Japanese people/things/ideas, I find the Japanese often are really good at what they do. I will have a look at her ways of thinking. :)  
  • Dragonslayer
    Dragonslayer Community Co-Production Group Posts: 1,540 Pioneering
    I would throw much out that has accumulated over the years. 
    My wife on the other hand is a hoarder, of sorts.
    So, I throw, she puts back. I get nowhere. 😒 
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Member
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  • leeCal
    leeCal Member Posts: 4,245 Disability Gamechanger
    I kept hinges, screws and various pieces of ironmongery along with various materials and timber, bicycles, lawn mowers, tennis rackets, coat hangars, string, cables, sockets and electrical equipment etc etc etc in a twenty eight foot long garage once. 

    An an absolute nightmare which I only awoke from when I hired a large skip and filled it with the contents of my garage, thank .heavens that’s over with. I could never find a thing and usually didn’t remember I had it anyway! 

    Say no to hoarding folks.
  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,645 Disability Gamechanger
    I've had to be a bit ruthless over the last couple of weeks as stuff was piling up to unmanageable levels!  Lots of cardboard and packaging gone now...  :(   I've also got an old wifi router & cables still in the box to go in the WEEE bin next time I'm passing.  Seems a shame as it worked fine and is cosmetically pristine, but I have no intention of going back to that provider and get a new router with every switch anyway.  So that's the important part...it's an item that can be easily replaced.  The monetary value of potentially buying a new one in future, is worth less to me than the space to easily access things I use on a regular basis right now.  :) 

    I have got a quite a few old textiles that I'd like to recycle but can't find anywhere to do it.  Clothing banks are only for good condition items.  The items I have are only good for rags or shredding up for stuffing, but I'd rather they were used for that instead of just dumping them in the black bin to be incinerated.
  • calcotti
    calcotti Member Posts: 3,012 Disability Gamechanger
    leeCal said:
    I kept hinges, screws and various pieces of ironmongery along with various materials and timber, bicycles, lawn mowers, tennis rackets, coat hangars, string, cables, sockets and electrical equipment etc etc etc in a twenty eight foot long garage once. .. I could never find a thing and usually didn’t remember I had it anyway! 
    That's a problem I recognise!
    Information I post is for England unless otherwise stated. Rules may be different in other parts of UK.
  • vikingqueen
    vikingqueen Member Posts: 548 Pioneering
         I never "throw" anything out if it can be repurposed, it's charity shops and the  freecycle site. 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,598 Disability Gamechanger
    I think my issue is that I have a lot of stuff that’s no use to anyone, including me if I’m being brutally honest, but it just holds sentimental value. School exercise books are a good example. I seem to attach sentimental value to anything - as another example I have a receipt from my first ever computer that I don’t want to throw away. :D
  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,645 Disability Gamechanger
    66Mustang said:
    School exercise books are a good example. I seem to attach sentimental value to anything - as another example I have a receipt from my first ever computer that I don’t want to throw away. :D
    At the very end of summer term one year, we were in an art 'lesson', but with nothing left to learn.  The teacher basically allowed the class to do whatever they wanted - chat, listen to music, etc.  Or help clean up the art room for those of us that didn't like chatting...  :D  

    I was given the task of chucking huge piles of previous students art work into an industrial size recycling bin. :o   I felt so guilty doing it and it wasn't even mine!!   :#
  • Chrissilk
    Chrissilk Member Posts: 22 Connected
    I am utterly useless at throwing things out. Fortunately my older daughter is incredibly good at it and given half a chance will go through my house telling me what she is getting rid of and allowing me to keep certain things if I have a real use for them. When I moved house some years ago we hired a skip. The small amount of space that was left when she was finished was rapidly filled by grateful  neighbours. It did mean I could fit my stuff in my new house though, which was very useful!
  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    Wow thanks @66Mustang really got me thinking!! 
    I am definitely a hoarder I mean I used to make jokes about it thinking its not that big a deal... But I really think its an illness? Ive even ended up losing my children partly due to my home being so out of control once :disappointed:
     I had no bedroom because the door would not open as it was literally full of black sacks of old clothes? I slept in a chair not just because of the bedroom being full of stuff but also because I find it better/easier to breathe if I sleep upright in a chair? So when I started sleeping in living room more and more stuff got piled in bedroom as I wasn't able to get rid of anything?! And the thought of sorting through it all was too much and my health physically was getting worse my lungs couldn't handle even 5 minutes of cleaning etc so lugging sacks around wasn't an option! Eventually my dad, sister, brother and neighbours just took over because I wasn't allowing anyone into the place as I was so ashamed and embarrassed that it had gotten so out of control and overwhelming? The kids were always in their rooms or at friends houses as I was either too poorly to do anything or they obviously didn't want to be around the chaos :disappointed: that's my biggest regret throughout all my life of late is being so unwell I couldn't be the mum I used to be! But that's a whole other story! I'd asked/begged social services for help but they came round once for 45 minutes and cleared away one box and never came back? Then a charity I'd seen had fliers saying they could help with hoarding and many other issues I'd never heard anyone speaking about it before let alone helping so I actually phoned them up and begged them for support of some kind as I knew it was getting ridiculous and dangerous it was a fire hazard if nothing else?! They said they were too short staffed! So my family took control as they have had to many times before in my life shamefully :disappointed:  they had to take 5 vans full of bin bags just of clothes to tip I believe it worked out to 140 altogether? That's was just one room and just the clothes then there were the other vans full of toys, books (I hate reading) newspapers, magazines, 15 big boxes of toiletries?! And the list goes on and on!! I wasn't even able to be in the flat while they were clearing it as it felt like they were throwing part of me away as silly as that sounds? I mean I was hysterical? It was just old clothes etc that didn't fit me or the kids anymore I always told myself I'd need them again someday and it was the same with absolutely everything I kept? It will come in handy eventually? Or I don't need one of those now but I might one day so I'd buy all kinds of stuff I didn't need thinking about it now I am a recovering addict too so I believe buying rubbish I didn't really need used to change how I felt however temporarily? Anyway as usual I've gone on and on longer than I meant to but just wanted to say hoarding can be a real problem and I really hope you are able to take back control before you are buried alive like I very nearly was! 🤦🏻‍♀️
    Today I have to constantly battle with myself not to get things unless absolutely essential? I force myself to throw old clothes or clothes I no longer fit into away straight away without letting myself think about it too long! Being homeless and in long term violent relationship in past I used to leave everything behind repeatedly as always had to leave in a hurry so I then went to other extreme when I eventually got clean and was more stable housing wise and had a home I wouldn't let go of anything!! As I said each day is a battle with my head about many things but the hoarding is so scary for me because I am worried il get back to that place again and I can't go through it again! It took them 7 weeks working day and night to get my home back to a liveable state its so scary how it happened without me even trying really!! Anyway il shut my hole now thankyou for posting this it's the first time I've ever opened up about this problem! I am so ashamed of it but I really do think it's a kind of Obsessive-compulsive thing? This forum has helped me to open up and admit a lot of problems just by seeing others are dealing with similar issues I hate that I always tend to go on and on so long in my posts but I am a little bit happy with myself too for actually being honest with myself and other people and not being completely scared of what people will think or say! Please take back control if you can I'd hate for anyone else to have to go through all that!
    Take care and stay safe peeps 👍😊🌞 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,598 Disability Gamechanger
    @Emilyb81 thanks for sharing. You definitely didn't go on too long, it was interesting to read your experiences. I am glad now that you have gotten the hoarding under control. I know of someone who used to be a hoarder really badly so I know how it can affect someone's life.

    Luckily I'm not at a point that I keep too much that it becomes a problem but I can completely see how easily it can get to that point. I will try really hard to keep my collected stuff to a manageable level!!
  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    Bless you @66Mustang
    It sure can creep up on you! But so happy you are not at the point where you have lost control! As if I didn't have a supportive family etc God knows how I'd of gotten any back! And luckily now I'm living in a 1 bedroom static caravan so I can't fit loads of stuff in even if I wanted to :lol: take care, stay safe and thankyou for the reply and  reading mine! :smile:
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,598 Disability Gamechanger
  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Member Posts: 1,645 Disability Gamechanger
    Heard yesterday that we're running low on cardboard since the pandemic - partly due to the loss of hospitality waste, and partly due to people hoarding their delivery boxes!  Gave me a bit of a push to get rid of a few more Amazon boxes myself.  I hadn't realised how much recycled card went back into making Amazon boxes.  :)
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,598 Disability Gamechanger
  • Chloe_R
    Chloe_R Member Posts: 3 Listener
    Hello) I'm a hoarder like you. But two years ago I've started my therapy and was ready for throwing away a lot of stuff in my life, so I was brutal and now I have space for new things in my life (not only about physical, but mental too)
  • Chrissilk
    Chrissilk Member Posts: 22 Connected
    I tend to keep some things 'just in case', but I have a daughter who is incredibly organised and tidy, so when she comes to visit she sorts things out and gets rid of them. I really don't mind, she does it for my benefit. 
  • CoffeeFirst
    CoffeeFirst Member Posts: 59 Courageous
    I’m really good at clearing out but I do always like to keep a few sentimental things.
    Maybe try boxing them away out of sight and see if you do actually miss them…bet you don’t though 😀
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,598 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you everyone for the replies and suggestions. :)

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