Need Some advice! (Worried Mum)
JF53
Community member Posts: 13 Listener
Hi
A friend has pointed me in the direction of your forum, Hope your all well.
My Daughter is 44 with 2 children, She has applied for PIP previously a few years ago (2019) She was unsuccessful. She did not appeal and just carried on.
Her needs have now greatly changed, All her conditions have got worse needing me & her dad to help with care. I myself am 69 and still work full time, my husband is 71
I go round to her home 4 times a day my husband twice. I have to help her shower & wash, Apply cream to her whole body (Severe Psoriasis)
She cannot cook as she is not safe multiple burns and liquid spills, my husband takes her dinner usually a sandwich. We make the kids tea and hers but she generally just picks at it. I have to put all her medication in little tub with foil on as she struggles to get them out herself and the dose boxes are too hard to open.
She also has a friend that helps with the kids and shopping cleaning etc. They do have access to a vehicle so use public transport which she has to contribute to.
We thought about carers allowance for her friend which would help with travel etc but as she is not getting PIP been told that she cannot get the help.
This really is taking it's toll on us all, I myself am not in the best of health and really struggling but there is nothing I can do she needs help.
Her conditions are depression and anxiety brought on when she had a breakdown she nursed her husband for 2 years who had cancer then when he died went on auto pilot and just crashed and burned. She has Polycystic ovary syndrome which causes her severe stomach pains and down below. She suffers from excessive hair all over her body she has zero confidence in herself. She was referred to Rheumatologist Feb 2020 then COVID hit and was referred back to GP as they were not seeing patients.
She is now back on the waiting list to confirm fibromyalgia, She also suffers from really bad leg pain where she describes it as elastic snapping in her legs and burning.
So she struggles so get about, she has not left the house since March this year.
12 weeks ago she has started with severe psoriasis which has covered her whole body, It looks so fierce and sore. she struggles to sit for long periods of time but then struggles walking. There are also episodes of where she could not get to the toilet in time so is spending over £35 on pants a week. She is sleeping more often than not on sofa as she is struggling to get upstairs and due to her mobility issues she has gained so much weight, It's really not healthy.
She had a telephone assessment on 10th October, Since this she has been so upset. She is constantly worried about not getting this additional help (Which she desperately needs) We really are trying our best but feel we need some help, where as her friend offering to ease the load would really help but its a struggle financially and we are helping where we can.
We have tried to reassure her but now I find I'm questioning myself too, I really don't know where we are gonna go from here I am sorry to say it but I'm absolutely Knackered!
If you have got this far thanks for listening
Joyce xx
A friend has pointed me in the direction of your forum, Hope your all well.
My Daughter is 44 with 2 children, She has applied for PIP previously a few years ago (2019) She was unsuccessful. She did not appeal and just carried on.
Her needs have now greatly changed, All her conditions have got worse needing me & her dad to help with care. I myself am 69 and still work full time, my husband is 71
I go round to her home 4 times a day my husband twice. I have to help her shower & wash, Apply cream to her whole body (Severe Psoriasis)
She cannot cook as she is not safe multiple burns and liquid spills, my husband takes her dinner usually a sandwich. We make the kids tea and hers but she generally just picks at it. I have to put all her medication in little tub with foil on as she struggles to get them out herself and the dose boxes are too hard to open.
She also has a friend that helps with the kids and shopping cleaning etc. They do have access to a vehicle so use public transport which she has to contribute to.
We thought about carers allowance for her friend which would help with travel etc but as she is not getting PIP been told that she cannot get the help.
This really is taking it's toll on us all, I myself am not in the best of health and really struggling but there is nothing I can do she needs help.
Her conditions are depression and anxiety brought on when she had a breakdown she nursed her husband for 2 years who had cancer then when he died went on auto pilot and just crashed and burned. She has Polycystic ovary syndrome which causes her severe stomach pains and down below. She suffers from excessive hair all over her body she has zero confidence in herself. She was referred to Rheumatologist Feb 2020 then COVID hit and was referred back to GP as they were not seeing patients.
She is now back on the waiting list to confirm fibromyalgia, She also suffers from really bad leg pain where she describes it as elastic snapping in her legs and burning.
So she struggles so get about, she has not left the house since March this year.
12 weeks ago she has started with severe psoriasis which has covered her whole body, It looks so fierce and sore. she struggles to sit for long periods of time but then struggles walking. There are also episodes of where she could not get to the toilet in time so is spending over £35 on pants a week. She is sleeping more often than not on sofa as she is struggling to get upstairs and due to her mobility issues she has gained so much weight, It's really not healthy.
She had a telephone assessment on 10th October, Since this she has been so upset. She is constantly worried about not getting this additional help (Which she desperately needs) We really are trying our best but feel we need some help, where as her friend offering to ease the load would really help but its a struggle financially and we are helping where we can.
We have tried to reassure her but now I find I'm questioning myself too, I really don't know where we are gonna go from here I am sorry to say it but I'm absolutely Knackered!
If you have got this far thanks for listening
Joyce xx
0
Comments
-
She can start a new claim for PIP but if she uses the same evidence she previously used it could see another refusal. If this happens she needs to challenge that decision by first requesting the Mandatory Reconsideration.(MR)When she receives the forms she needs to fill them out with as much information as possible, without telling her life story. Include a couple of real world incidents of exactly what happened the last time she attempted each descriptor that applies to her. Give detailed information such as where she was, what exactly happened, did anyone see it and what the consequences were. You should aim for at least half an A4 side of paper per descriptor.You may also want to have a read of this to help you understand a little more of what the criteria is. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/personal-independence-payment-assessment-guide-for-assessment-providers/pip-assessment-guide-part-2-the-assessment-criteriaA successful claim can take at least several months so you should delay applying. She should expect an assessment because most people have them. This could be by telephone, video call or face to face at an assessment centre.For help and support, have you referred her for a needs assessment? If not, you can do this here. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/help-from-social-services-and-charities/getting-a-needs-assessment/ There maybe a waiting list for this.Does she currently claim any other benefits?You are correct about the carers allowance, her friend won't be able to claim this unless your daughter is in receipt of daily living PIP.
0 -
You said she had an assessment on 10th October but you don’t say what it is for. Has she reapplied for PIP?
Does she receive any other benefits? Is she a single parent or does she live with a partner?0 -
calcotti said:You said she had an assessment on 10th October but you don’t say what it is for. Has she reapplied for PIP?
0 -
Hi thanks so much for your advice, yes she had re applied and had telephone assessment. We looked at a site where you do like a mock application and it lists the certain points for each thing. As I said she does not go out she has missed Gp appointments as she has panic attacks and the thought of going out fills her with dread! So on this site it said she will recieve 10 points as she does not leave the house! And then with other points scored she had over 25 so I was thinking yes she will be fine. But then so many people get refused.
Think I am a but panicked as we are finding the constant care hard. She receives universal credit at the mo x
0 -
That sounds like the PIP self test you did, which is terrible and not the best thing to use, unless you fully understand the PIP descriptors and what they mean. Very few people do.Once the report is returned to DWP a decision can take between 2-12 weeks. Once it's made if she's nmot happy i'd advise challenging that decision.Has she reported her health condition for UC?0
-
Hello there @JF53 and welcome to the community, thank you for taking the time to reach out and explain your situation. It can take courage to ask for help, especially when we're feeling stuck or don't know where to turn, so well done.
I'm really sorry to hear about the turn in your daughter's conditions, and the impact this has had on all the family. We'd like to support you with this as much as we are able to so please keep an eye out for an email from community@scope.org.uk with some information later today. I hope you've found our members advice and support helpful in the meantime.
Please let us know if there's anything we can help with further, and know that we're here to support you
Alex0 -
Thank you0
-
Thanks Wibbles I will try that.0
-
Thank you so much Ada x0
-
You are welcome @JF53. It is the very least you deserve.
Please don't hesitate to let us know if we can do anything else to support you. We are all here for you0
Categories
- All Categories
- 13.7K Start here and say hello!
- 6.7K Coffee lounge
- 52 Games den
- 1.6K People power
- 34 Community noticeboard
- 21K Talk about life
- 4.8K Everyday life
- 2.2K Families and carers
- 798 Education and skills
- 1.7K Work
- 387 Money and bills
- 3.2K Housing and independent living
- 811 Transport and travel
- 635 Relationships
- 56 Sex and intimacy
- 1.3K Mental health and wellbeing
- 2.3K Talk about your impairment
- 837 Rare, invisible, and undiagnosed conditions
- 886 Neurological impairments and pain
- 1.8K Cerebral Palsy Network
- 1.1K Autism and neurodiversity
- 33.7K Talk about your benefits
- 5.4K Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)
- 17.9K PIP, DLA, and AA
- 5.7K Universal Credit (UC)
- 4.7K Benefits and income