Autism/Depression

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Comments

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 6,849 Championing

    I didn't know sorry. Happy birthday @Catherine21 ..

  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 9,502 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Wait, is it your birthday today @Catherine21 ?!?

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 5,266 Championing

    Yes. And I'm really proud of myself brought a bottle of wine tried it yesterday drunk one glass and threw the bottle away so have to celebrate that maybe with age does come wisdom lol

  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 9,502 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Oh wow, well a huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY from me @Catherine21 I hope you have a most excellent evening. ❤️

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 5,266 Championing

    Thankyou xx

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 5,266 Championing

    Thankyou xx

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 5,266 Championing

    Going to purchase remake of salems lot and watch that

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 6,849 Championing

    Enjoy @Catherine21 .

  • Kali85
    Kali85 Online Community Member Posts: 123 Empowering

    happy birthday @Catherine21 hope you have a lovely day ❤️

    I also have spent my whole life feeling not good enough, anything I do is wrong! Although it seems to be grained into my brain so it’s my own stupid thoughts causing me to think that way, but also lot of the time it is other toxic relationships that make me feel this way, always criticising me and making me feel stupid. I am also so ridiculously hard n judgmental on myself in everything yet wen it comes to other ppl i have compassion n understanding for them, no judgement or harsh thought for them but never no kind words or compassion for myself

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 5,266 Championing

    Thankyou it's so hard isn't it I can remember being 3 years old and hating myself always looking at my friends and thinking why cant I be like them always over pleasing suffering inside it actually caused my body dismorphia I can't even look in mirror properly no one could ever imagine how we suffer my way of coping is total isolation and days like today do alot of reflection on my own as I can't face company anymore so hard trying to fit in and always feeling the ugly duckling and when I know people feel the way I do it breaks my heart because I know the pain it brings have you had therapy I've had loads still didn't absorb it I think we feel to much we are like sponges absorbing everything energy body language tone of voice I think I've accepted myself more than when I was younger I don't yearn for relationships friendships it was so hard when I did I'm so sorry your feeling the same I agree it is stamped on the brain the mind never stops x

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 6,849 Championing

    I'm a setting a little bit @Catherine21 . Thank you. I appreciate your support.

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 6,849 Championing

    I can those explanations / traits within myself @Kali85 and @Catherine21 . I hope it was ok to pop something here I know the conversation is between both of you . Apologies once again.

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 5,266 Championing

    I think having a kind heart in a cruel world imagine if everyone was neurodivergent the world what a kind loving world it would be

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 6,849 Championing

    That is very very true @Catherine21 .

  • Kali85
    Kali85 Online Community Member Posts: 123 Empowering

    thanks @Catherine21 i had same feelings from extremely young age too, I used to look at my siblings and cousins & I couldn’t understand how they were just living life just doing normal things, I just didn’t know how to do that, I’m stuck in my head constantly thinking where do I fit in, anything I do is sooo much effort, anytime I would have relationship with someone they always end up leaving me out, or just cut me off for no reason, I’d spend days/months making myself ill trying to understand what I have done wrong! I always get left out of everything, it was always me that was always picked on & practical joke played on. Ppl know I am sensitive yet they keep doing awful things to me, I don’t see them treating other ppl in same way they treat me. I too feel more content when I am completely isolated no one around to hurt me no stress or headaches because of ppl being fine with me one min then completely cut me off next. Unfortunately I crave relationships with certain family & friends so I mourn for the loss of that. Only problem is I cut these ppl outa my life and then all it takes is a text or phone call from them & I get sucked back in, I think their my friend and turns out they just wanted to use me and I’m back to feeling awful and hating myself n my crappy life over again

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Online Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 3,748 Championing

    I don't yearn for relationships friendships it was so hard when I did 

    True!

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 5,266 Championing

    i just seen an article saying thier amending mental health bill any idea of this

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Posts: 5,266 Championing

    Ah I remember those feelings and my heart goes out to you it's extremely painful thinking back when I was younger I get upset with myself because I always gave everything even passing people who's homeless I have to stop give money and generally feel for them unfortunately some people attracted to our kind giving nature and that hurts so bad when relize they were getting what they want I was used for s visa that broke me it is some much harder when you yearn for friendships relationships the best thing I did was cut two toxic friends out of my life took me years at first I was panicking thinking I have no friends and end up feeling sorry for them and making excuses for thier behaviour towards me if I could tell my younger self would be always have my own back people will show who they are don't ignore the signs and put myself first is not being selfish its about survival It's so hard to keep boundaries with people through fear of them thinking I'm a bad or talking bad about Me I literally tolerated alot of users but thier is people out there that are nice people and we have so much to give don't ever forget that in my opinion people are lucky to have us in thier life I bet everyone comes to you for advice